tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84044614802143229212024-03-05T16:48:40.721-08:00The Greatness ProjectGreatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.comBlogger210125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-59611771836152405002015-11-29T07:13:00.000-08:002015-11-29T07:13:04.701-08:00The Busy-ness Whirlpool
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img height="131" src="http://www.walden.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/whirlpool.png" width="200" />How much time do you waste during the day? Yes, I know we
are all busy…crazy busy. We brag to each other how busy we are. We even brag
about what we don’t have time for. “I’m so busy I haven’t been to the gym in
months.” Really? But what are we doing? We are getting sucked into our own
busy-ness. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I admit that I also fall into the busy-ness trap. There is
always so much to do and there never seems to be enough time. I seem to work at
the office, at night sometimes when I get home and in the morning. But what am
I really doing? </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Very recently two things occurred that kept me very busy and
I realized how much of my time was stolen on this busy-ness. First, Microsoft
unveiled their new operating system Windows 10. I don’t tend to be much of an
early adopter when it comes to technology, but I needed to upgrade the VAIO </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">in my home office and thought that this new
system would do it. Well, the upgrade worked, but I lost two days integrating
the system, bringing files over and of course, personalizing the desktop. I
rationalized my busy-ness by thinking that I was making myself more efficient. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The second occurrence was the purchase and installation of a
new computer for our business office. We were disgusted with our old computers
and purchased an “all-in-one” Dell desktop. Again, hours were spent on setting
up the system and getting it up to speed. It’s not done yet, I’ve still got
more work to do. But I finally realized that a lot of the “set up” was the
personalization of the computer and not important for our work. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I offer these two as examples of the “work” that can fill up
our day. It is now estimated that most of us spend up to 30% of our work day
just scrolling through email and because we are connected at home we continue
to work in the evenings and on weekends creating what is approximately a 72
hour work week for ourselves. No wonder we don’t have time for anything. And of
course it all seems important. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is no easy answer. I’m not going to advocate turning
everything off, because as a business owner I can’t. But I’m finding that it is
important to understand and monitor what keeps me busy. Is it just my own busy
work? Am I feeling busy because I’m doing something, anything, even just
scrolling through email or Facebook, or am I moving toward accomplishing the
things in life that mean so much to me, like writing, speaking and helping
others? And of course, I want to spend time with the people in my life I care
about. When I put those things in perspective I realize that scrolling through
emails, checking news, reading Facebook, posting on Instagram, are jobs I
create for myself that keep me busy. I can choose to maximize my time with the
work I enjoy and the people I love. Whatever time is left over, I’ll give to my
“busy-ness.” </span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-90096834265023348532015-02-23T05:16:00.000-08:002015-02-23T05:16:11.628-08:00Unintentional Misogyny
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I didn’t intend to be a misogynist, I didn’t even know I was
one until I opened my eyes and looked at what was happening to someone I cared
for, then I realized my ignorance and my complicity. Aside from intentional misogynists
most of this country runs on an unconscious bias toward white, straight, rich
men. There is no real “reverse discrimination” as some would claim. And if you’ve
never been on the other side of prejudice you don’t have any idea what it
really feels like. And that’s where we need some education in this country. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Twenty years ago I landed a job at Merrill Lynch and met a
strong, independent, powerful woman, Jan Sparrow. We became friends and in 2000
we left Merrill Lynch to start our own consulting business. It was when Jan and
I began to travel and work together that I saw the bias. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Though Jan had 16 more years in corporate America than I did
and vast amounts of experience, she was often ignored when we pitched business
and I was focused on. In hotels and airlines (when they still controlled
upgrades) I was given upgrades and she wasn’t even though we had identical
status in both. In meetings Jan was talked over and interrupted while I was
allowed to speak unhindered. It was amazing and appalling. That’s what opened my
eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I always believed that everyone had an equal opportunity in
this country, but the new research is pointing to a darker reality, our
unconscious biases. We don’t know that we score women lower than men when we
rate teachers, politicians and professionals. We complement girls and women on
their looks and boys and men on their success. When meeting with married
couples we defer to men in decision-making, sometimes not even looking at the
women in meetings. When a man is strong and aggressive we call him “a go-getter”
but if a women is strong and aggressive we call her a<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;"> "bitch."</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sadly I use to defend myself by saying to women that I wasn’t
the enemy; I believed in equality. Now I know that is not enough. I have to
believe in inequality, in the subconscious bias that our society, our world
teaches us. Jan and every women deserves that from me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, now I’m conscious of how women are treated in the
boardroom, in lines, at dinners because I’m starting to see the reality that
they are not treated equally. To all the men I suggest you find a professional female
colleague and follow her around for a day with open eyes and ears. You will be
amazed. To all the women, I encourage you to stand up to the misogyny and help
us to open our eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>**the reference
below is the link to Nicholas Kristoff’s NYT article that inspired this blog.
He has the research on bias in his article. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/22/opinion/sunday/nicholas-kristof-straighttalk-for-white-men.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fnicholas-kristof">http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/22/opinion/sunday/nicholas-kristof-straighttalk-for-white-men.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fnicholas-kristof</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-26642149300081302112015-02-17T06:08:00.000-08:002015-02-17T06:08:17.089-08:00The Snowflake Strategy<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<a class="iol_imc" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" idx="13" style="clear: left; float: left; height: 262px; left: 260px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; top: 0px; visibility: visible; width: 344px;"><img class="mainImage" height="240" src="http://termcoord.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/snow.jpg" style="background-color: white;" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Snow is gently falling outside my window. For those of us in
the Northeast United States this is a common occurrence this winter especially
in the past month. Yet as I gaze out on the winter wonderland that blanketed
the area overnight I realize something about accomplishment that snow can teach
us… a little bit at a time can cover the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Think about the size of a snowflake. Seriously! When we
imagine just a small snowflake we might think “what could this possibly amount
to?” Yet when we look at drifts, blizzards and snowbound areas we see the power
of massing small incidental things to create enormous effects. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Many of us have dreams, some of them big and some of them
small. Yet they remain as dreams because we can’t fathom reaching the end,
finishing them. They seem too insurmountable. Whether you have a project at
work or at home; for your life goal or a career necessity, at times it seems
impossible to start. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s where the beauty of a snowflake comes in. Just a
small, incremental step in the direction of your goal adds up. Just a little
each day (and I mean a little) can add up to amazing amounts. Whether you are
writing a book and only adding a paragraph at a time, or managing a project at
work and just sent the first email, the gradual culmination of small things
creates big effects. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What small thing can you do today to make one tiny dent in
your “to do” list? What step could you take that would get a little closer to
the goal? What tiny fragment could you place in your own world, or the world at
large that eventually could blanket everything? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-58628930979719947092014-10-28T08:38:00.000-07:002014-10-28T08:38:19.075-07:00Why Birthdays are Bad for Your Health
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today is my birthday. Yep, I’m writing this at 32,000 feet
heading to San Francisco and I celebrated with a glass of tonic water and a
tapas box. But driving to the airport this morning I was startled when my
husband called, sang happy birthday and then asked, “so, how does it feel to be
58?” Really? Am I that old? Well, technically the answer is yes. My carbon form
has traversed this planet for 58 years along with millions of others; eating,
sleeping, playing, working. If we count the days, I’ve probably been here
longer than most people. But why count the days? Seriously, paying too close
attention to your age is bad for your health. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR71tWGXQ0kA3IPldwYnkBjuf0wmE2wkz6fRhq_9fLgM0l5706p_7XZGPHb4KIXUyyrd1ThKzYF2BRw4IrAORhyphenhyphenq0SqHPQQ3_s140VfgrYbKcBI0EiaRE7HZbk_LuELonwH6wuEOcd7lE/s1600/DSCN1450.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR71tWGXQ0kA3IPldwYnkBjuf0wmE2wkz6fRhq_9fLgM0l5706p_7XZGPHb4KIXUyyrd1ThKzYF2BRw4IrAORhyphenhyphenq0SqHPQQ3_s140VfgrYbKcBI0EiaRE7HZbk_LuELonwH6wuEOcd7lE/s1600/DSCN1450.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Okay this is a little tongue-in-cheek but the studies of
Ellen Langer on aging and mindset are amazing. She believes that some of our
physical limitations of age are as much or more a part of the mind as they are
of the body. Her studies place participants in situations that replicate what
life was like 20-30 years prior. For a week they talk and live as though it was
1984. The results are lower blood pressure, better circulation and flexibility
and even improved vision. All because the participants stopped living their
age. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We all have concepts of age. That is why so many of us hate
approaching milestone birthdays because all we can think about is aging. When
we are continuously reminded of our age, we begin to act and feel that way,
becoming more cautious because we fear getting hurt. Eventually our beliefs
become our reality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Aging is for the young, let’s face it. When you want to
drive you can’t wait to be 17. Others can’t wait to vote at 18 or drink at 21
(okay, legally). Then all the rush to get older stops or at least it should, unless
you really want an AARP card or Medicare. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let’s face it, our bodies will remind us that we are aging,
they don’t need any help. So what if we only celebrated birthdays but didn’t
count them? How old would you be? How old would you feel? Counting birthdays
doesn’t mean anything. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Meaning is not found
in the amount of days in your life, but the amount of life in your days. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So for me, today is a reason to have fun. I’m glad I’m here.
But I’m not going to spoil it by counting the years. Nope I’m just going to
enjoy today. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-10842667360298652422014-10-20T04:44:00.000-07:002014-10-20T04:44:54.172-07:00Live Life on the Peaks<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608008502902524860&pid=1.7" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608008502902524860&pid=1.7" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Happiness is not a subject near and dear to my heart. It's not that I'm against happiness, I tend to be a very happy guy. But happiness is not something I pursue. Anyone who consistently reads my writing know that I believe happiness is a positive effect of pursuing individual greatness, but not the goal in itself. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, though I don’t focus on happiness many people think
I’m the ultimately happy guy who never looks at the dark side of life. Last
week I was talking with a friend and she was opining that “on the journey of
life you have to experience both the peaks and the valleys.” I agreed, but
countered that “just because I experience the valleys on the journey of life
doesn’t mean I have to stop and build my house there.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This past weekend I had the privilege of attending a positive
psychology summit at the University of Pennsylvania. It was attended by some of
the smartest and most accomplished people I know. Dr. Ed Deiner spoke about
happiness and revealed some studies that if you are super happy, you might not achieve
as much as someone else who might be moderately happy. (Of course if you are
depressed you might not accomplish much either.) Afterword I tried to pursue
the point, but he deftly dodged it. However, his point was made. Some of the
most prominent people in history struggled with their dark side and used it as
a spring-board to creativity and success. It’s important to note that most of
them didn’t wallow in their dark side, but acknowledged it and used it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the journey of life all of us experience peaks and
valleys. However by living in the valleys we close ourselves off from the good
side of life. Yes, it is important to experience the highs and lows, but since
we all have a choice, why not build our homes on the highs? We can do that by
enjoying the peak moments more, exploring them and learning how we can repeat
them and treasuring them each time they occur. Then, with confidence we can experience
and even explore the valleys, but in time move out and back up to the peaks. So
the question remains, where do you want to build your house? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-69231029948084861772014-10-10T13:36:00.000-07:002014-10-10T13:36:00.263-07:00Don't Fight Busyness, Elevate It.
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<a href="webkit-fake-url://45614CF5-45E9-468D-B636-8C3FDCAA0C0F/busyness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="busyness.jpg" border="0" height="76" src="webkit-fake-url://45614CF5-45E9-468D-B636-8C3FDCAA0C0F/busyness.jpg" title="" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Recently whenever I ask someone how they are doing I hear
variations of “crazy busy,” “so busy I can’t think,” or “I’m slammed.” Frankly
I’m tired of hearing it. I just read an HBR blog on this busyness syndrome and
how to fight it. Honestly, I don’t want to fight busyness because that’s a
losing battle, but I want to change the focus. <o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think about it. All of us are busy; busy creating a life,
loving others, doing our job, or we are busy living. So what? The first
definition of busy I found is “actively or fully engaged or occupied.” Hey
wait? That’s the way I want to live my life! I hope I can describe every day
that way. But most of us mean the 2<sup>nd</sup> and 4<sup>th</sup> definitions
“overcrowded or cluttered with detail,” “crowded with or characterized by much
activity.” But honestly even those don’t sound too bad. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The real challenge is that saying “I’m crazy busy” has
become a badge of honor. We brag about how much work we have to do and how
there is no time for our lives. Perhaps it makes us feel important. Really? We
want to live like this? I don’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And more to the point, this busyness syndrome can get in
the way of achieving anything. Many people point to their calendars and inboxes
to justify how they can’t get another thing done. But I wonder what they are doing.
I meet plenty of busy people. A few of them actually accomplish something. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently I worked with a multinational corporation that
wanted to change the dialogue around performance reviews for their employees.
They realized that most employees arrived for their year-end reviews armed with
all of the projects they worked on during the year and how hard they worked.
This company decided to look at “business impact” instead of activity. Instead
of only talking about how many projects, tasks, or meeting occurred, the
question became “what was the impact of this work on the business?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It radically changed the conversation and it
changed the mindset. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think about how we would reset our lives if we looked at
impact. If you schedule time with your kids, ask yourself what impact it had on
them, or you? It might make you put your smart phone down to have a greater
impact. Or that writing project you are working on? Did you spend a couple of
hours at your desk, or did you accomplish something, actually get some pages
written? What was the impact of the time spent working? We can even use this
gauge in a more dramatic fashion and ask the question, what impact has my life
made?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are all busy. It’s called living. But being busy can be a
smoke screen full of sound and fury and signifying nothing (with apologies to
the Bard). By changing the litmus test of our lives we can move from crowded
calendars to meaningful calendars. If we concern ourselves with impact our
meetings, dates, even playtimes take on more significance. And finally if we
live our lives focused on our impact on others and the impact we leave, we will
dramatically change our world. Isn’t that better than just being busy? <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-23266351007085421872014-09-17T07:53:00.000-07:002014-09-17T07:53:05.297-07:00A Room of Genius
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have you ever been in a place where you are overwhelmed by
how smart and dedicated all the other people in the room seem? Have you had the
joy of being so much in awe of what others are doing for the world that you
can’t help asking more and more questions? Have you ever thought at the end of
a day that you can’t believe how lucky you are to be among such amazing people?
If you have had this experience, you have been in a room of genius. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This summer I attended the Canadian Positive Psychology
Association Conference in Ottawa, Canada. Approximately 400 people arrived from
across the globe to learn about positive psychology and consider the difference
it could make in the world. From education to politics to workplace we learned
and debated how happiness, well-being, and even greatness could transform
lives. And there was no shortage of amazing people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To a person the participants engaged in critical dialogue to
understand how this science could make the world better for everyone. They were
nurses, psychologists, life coaches, consultants and interested individuals.
Each of them spoke about how they were trying to bring new messages of positive
psychology into their domains. It was powerful and it was intimidating. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A little while after the conference an op ed piece in the NY
Times opined about the necessity of having two of more individuals to create
genius. Historically, “genius” was believed to be in each of us; it is the god
within us as we are born. But the op ed proposed that we need others to
challenge our thinking and bring our best to light. After this summer’s
conference, I agree. My mind is still whirling with the ideas and suggestions
from those few days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alone we have our thoughts, but together we have ideas,
action and change. We lean on each other and learn from each other. We
challenge, cajole, debate, edit, and refine ideas and then we dream, plan and
achieve our dreams together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was astounded how my thinking was lifted and
my ideas were challenges… and it felt good. Who is in your room of genius? </span>Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-89601154280725333632014-06-02T09:04:00.001-07:002014-06-02T09:04:26.290-07:00Let's Get Rid of Work/Life Balance
<a href="http://lifelikeariver.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/work-life-balance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://lifelikeariver.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/work-life-balance.jpg" width="133" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have you ever tried to balance water in one hand and a fish
in the other and make it work? Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? That’s the same
craziness as saying we need work/life balance. One really can’t exist without
the other and they are intimately connected. I’ve written about work/life
balance before, but we need a different way to think about our lives; one that
makes sense for an integrated life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What’s wrong with the whole concept of work/life balance? It
is an incorrect dichotomy. Work is an integral part of life and cannot be
separated from it. Work, when seen as a vocation, gives purpose to life and
provides meaning. We don’t get meaning from lounging in a beach chair sipping a
margarita (as nice as that sounds). But we do get meaning from adding to the
greater measure of humanity by providing service, information, art or material
goods. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At the same time we also need moments of pleasure, when we
revel in the work we’ve done, meet friends, celebrate our accomplishments and
free our mind of work. We take time to enjoy physical pursuits, outlets which
allow us to stretch our limbs and allow the sweat to cleanse and renew us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yet both the work and the play have their limits. If we over
indulge in either of them, we know it. If we continue over-indulging too long,
we burnout or crash. This is why we need a new concept of balance to understand
how we get the most out of life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The ultimate balance is between intensity and rest. Whether
pursuing work or play, we know that balancing the intensity of focused
attention to a goal necessitates we provide ourselves with rest to continue
later with the same intensity. This is the balance many of us lack. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our lives are consumed by the siren song of technology that
calls us to continuously check our messages long past the time when anyone
should be reasonably sending us any. But we create our own vicious circle by
replying and causing the other to continue the communication. There is no rest,
there is no downtime. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Somehow believing we are getting away by pursuing pleasure
or physical activity, we push ourselves at the gym, or meeting others without a
moments rest and then we check back in whenever we can. What is wrong with us? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Balancing intensity with rest is of tantamount importance to
great individuals from professional athletes to CEOs of major companies, but it
also applies to all of us. How long can we pursue this intensity? Our abilities
peak for about 90 minutes. Then we need to step away and give ourselves an
opportunity to regroup. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Studies show
that when individuals or companies create a “90 minute intensity – 10 minute
resting activity” throughout a day productivity climbs and more is accomplished
in less time. Try it. You will find yourself more productive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yet, even without using the 90/10 equation we need to think
about our intensity vs rest ratio whether we are working or playing. We will
find ourselves focused more when doing whatever task we choose and enjoying the
rest more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, let’s get the concept of work/life balance
out of our heads. That’s over-used, incorrect and even dangerous thinking. We
need to balance intensity, whether it’s at work or at play, with time for rest.
Disciplining ourselves to focus intently and then step away allows us to both
recover and pursue our passions whatever they may be. So, how is your
intensity/rest balance?</span>Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-31693942502741071162014-05-12T08:51:00.000-07:002014-05-12T08:51:04.446-07:00Living a Life of S(s)ignificance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaISNdzCRdE6KYrnDJUJYGEo2YAovl8DTxrGgO2xyzXa5OayGA2hbZ0DIV-tu5xL4CwoNu_TtKIKdFCJDsYNlwUUOYr1i3p7FMr3pIpHDuYSOGtR0MuKGiMpE4Lua2k5JFoAQcrZTsjvc/s1600/DSCN2356.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaISNdzCRdE6KYrnDJUJYGEo2YAovl8DTxrGgO2xyzXa5OayGA2hbZ0DIV-tu5xL4CwoNu_TtKIKdFCJDsYNlwUUOYr1i3p7FMr3pIpHDuYSOGtR0MuKGiMpE4Lua2k5JFoAQcrZTsjvc/s1600/DSCN2356.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
Over the weekend I heard of two college commencements both of which exhorted students to "live a life of significance." How that was expounded on I really don't know, but the phrase stuck in my head. So since we are exhorting our young people to live this way, the question rebounds in our direction, are you and I living a life of significance? <br />
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If you are like me, the first question that arises is what is meant by a life of significance? Though there is a book by this title, I didn't find it really enlightened me. A life of significance could be a life of fame, or notoriety, or stature, but I was pretty sure that's not how they meant it in the commencement addresses. So, I thought I'd look it up. <br />
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The definition of significance is about "having meaning, importance." Initially I thought about the majority of people who attend my workshops on personal greatness who have not specifically thought about meaning. But the more I think about it, I've realized (once again) that I am wrong. All of us have significance in one another's lives. Since we live in a world where we interact with each other (a "hive") we impact each other every day and foster or degrade individuals along the way. <br />
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I have encountered many people in my journeys about the globe who in a smile, a gesture, a comment, or an action assure me that I am a fellow human being deserving of respect and care. I've also encountered other people who treat me as refuse and toss aside me and anyone else who gets in their way to achieve or own something. Both examples have significance in our lives, just by the way that they live. This is significance with a small "s." I happens everyday whether we think about it or not. <br />
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Additionally I believe there is significance with a capital "S." There are individuals who think carefully about their footprint on this planet and how they want to touch the lives of their fellow human beings. Some choose to live significantly though parenting, some though their work, others through their attitude. But they are conscious about their Significance. I find these people to be powerful examples of lives lived fully with passion and vigor. <br />
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So, either way we live, mindfully or on autopilot, we have meaning in the lives of others. However the choice is ours as to what our S(s)ignificance is. What will yours be? Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-91487315720268235662014-05-05T15:18:00.002-07:002014-05-05T15:18:48.904-07:00Greatess Is Not a Zero Sum Game<h1 class="post-title">
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Many years ago I walked into my cousin's bedroom and saw a new trophy on his bookcase. "What did you win?" I inquired. "Nothing," he said. "That was just for being a part of the team." I never forgot that moment and ranted for years against this way of rewarding kids and adults, but now, I think I'm wrong. <br />
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Yesterday I read an article in the New York Times where Alfie Kohn opined against my old way of thinking. He noted that many adults believe that giving kids trophies for showing up would make them soft, deprive them of grit and make them lazy. Our mindset was that in order to teach kids resilience, you have to make life tough. Some of us think that kids who receive praise for everything will never make it in the “real” world. Why not? Because we want them to go through the same suffering we had to?<br />
Life is suffering. That’s not just a Buddhist concept, but a simple awareness that in order for life to be lived, we have to struggle and work. Kids realize this as well as we do. They know very well that they did not come in first place in a race even if we give them a medal. But what the medal does communicate is that they are valuable just for trying.<br />
Of course I’m not saying to just give people everything. But to deprive both adults and children of praise just because we believe it will make them soft is stupid. 60 percent of American workers would like to have some recognition of the work they’ve done. It won’t make them soft, but it might make them realize how valuable they are and that they can have pride in their work. But when I speak to managers about why they won’t give more praise, they say “then they’d expect it.” Yes, imagine that. Expecting thanks for a job well done. (And this applies just as much at home as it does in the workplace.)<br />
This notion of rewarding only the very best has made its way into corporations in very insidious ways. Most corporations have ranking systems and bell curves so that some employees are on top, some in the middle and others at the bottom regardless of how they performed. Managers are forced to fill all three buckets. This is ridiculous. If the hiring managers do their job, they are bringing on people who are talented and motivated to do their best. So why can’t everybody be great?<br />
Currently I’m working with a major international firm that has done away with ranking and calibration. Employees are only evaluated on the work they do and how it helps the business and each other. In this scenario you could have a large number of employees receiving top rewards. Why not? Greatness is not a zero sum game. I am not diminished if you are great.<br />
What finally clicked and turned my thinking around was imagining the environment created by never telling adults or children what they’ve done right or by ranking them against each other so there is only one winner. Any student who has taken Psychology 101 knows that the human response to a threat is fight, flight, or freeze. You don’t learn that way. But by creating an environment where everyone can win, in their own way, you create an environment where, as researcher Barbara Fredrickson describes it, individuals can broaden their capacity to learn and build on their skills. It’s an environment where everyone can be great, and that is not a zero sum game.</div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-33046382203295658422014-02-04T04:22:00.000-08:002014-02-04T04:22:34.256-08:00Time for the "Slow Connection" Movement<br />
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<a href="http://www.mundoflaneur.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Nokia-Lumia-920-en-Argentina-9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="alignleft" height="160" src="http://www.mundoflaneur.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Nokia-Lumia-920-en-Argentina-9.jpg" width="174" /></a>Recently I purchased a new phone. Well, I really didn’t buy it. With the upgrade I had coming, the discounts at the store and a special sale I got it free for a renewed contract. Weird huh? Then, since I switched my brand of phone, I spent the better part of a week uploading apps and syncing my new phone to all the devices in my house, car and office. After that I continued focusing on the phone tweaking the ringtones (James Bond), culling the contacts and finding more apps. And when I finally looked up from the phone I realized I lost more than a week of connecting with friends and family. Sad to say that I’m not the only one caught up in the digital world. That has to stop. The challenge is we live in a world that loves their phones and computers and that hurts all of us.</div>
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Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a Luddite by any stretch of the imagination. I have a Mac Book Pro, VAIO PC, Microsoft Surface and Nokia smart phone. I run my business digitally from any where at any time. And now I’m realizing the problem that can be. My research and life work is about bringing out the best in people. But when I am so focused on my phone or gadgets I forget the people around me and think that the world resides in my hands or at my finger tips. It doesn’t. There is nothing like a real connection to another human being.<br />
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Sadly we are a society moving in the direction of disconnection. Though we have a greater ability to reach out and touch someone, we do it more and more electronically with short messages and emoticons. These don’t create real human connection. Studies indicate that the more time we spend on electronic devices, no matter our age, the more our ability to read non-verbal communication weakens. We gradually lose the capability to discern facial expressions and body language. That’s scary.<br />
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A few years ago in Italy the “slow food” movement was begun. It was an attempt to regain the art and magic of dining by actually preparing food and taking time to enjoy it with others. It was begun in direct opposition to the “fast food” mentality. So I propose that we start a “slow connection” movement. This movement would emphasize taking time to be with our children, talk to our spouses, have dinner conversations that lingered, listen to the stories of our wise seniors and to linger over the nuances in our loved one’s reply, or watch the wonder on our child’s face as they experience something for the first time.<br />
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We live in a generation that could be the first to be utterly disconnected from those around us even though we share the same space. There is a place for electronics and digital connectivity, but its importance pales in comparison with face to face time with other people. Take time for a “slow connection.” Call up the person you’ve been meaning to speak with and arrange a lunch, a walk or a date. And remember when you are with them… turn off your phone.Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-59533364861295558712014-01-27T04:51:00.000-08:002014-01-27T04:51:35.609-08:00Here Comes the Judge<br />
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<a href="http://www.wordsfromtheherd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/judge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" class="alignleft" data-mce-src="http://www.wordsfromtheherd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/judge.jpg" height="190" src="http://www.wordsfromtheherd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/judge.jpg" width="200" /></a>Can you hear it? Does it get louder every time you try doing something creative and new? You know what I mean, the thought that says "you're not good enough," or "this work is crap, no one will ever read it or want to see it." That's the Judge. Many people I've spoken with struggle with these thoughts that hinder or stop any kind of creativity or new actions. They agree that when they try something they can hear this voice inside their head condemning their attempts or worse yet, laughing at them. It's time to bring the Judge out of hiding and deal with him. </div>
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I've dealt with the Judge all my life, in every new endeavor, every new creative effort. There is this thought that my work is never good enough, people don't want to see it and that I'm wasting my time. Sadly I've noticed that the Judge has not grown quieter over the years even after three books and other successes. It seems that he is now emboldened and he has taken on a new tack: "nothing you create will live up to what you've already done so you might as well quit while you are ahead." Sound familiar? <br />
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I'm use to the Judge, the nagging voice telling me to "get it right." I even would say to people "I am my toughest critic." Midway through last year I let the Judge win. Telling myself and others I had writer's block, I stopped writing anything. I stopped being creative in my work and bascially just went with the status quo. But I'm also aware that when we engage in negative behaviors we do so because we gain something from them. So I had to ask myself the question, what do I get out of listening to the Judge? And the answer came back loud and clear, safety. When there is nothing new or creative no one can critize or challenge me. I can't underperform precisely because I'm not in the arena. And so for about six months, the Judge succeeded.<br />
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So, for those of us who have the Judge in our lives how do we eliminate or at least control him? Create an advocate. <br />
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For me, there was tremendous clarity about what I gained by not writing or creating. I gained safety. But what did I lose? I lost the joy and spontaneity of creativity, the exhilaration of the process of creating. I love the feel and sound of new thoughts and the possiblity of the worlds they hold. And I lost the moment when even one person resonated with something I wrote or said. <br />
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That's too much to lose. <br />
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<a href="http://www.dewiscil.org.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/me2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" class="alignright" data-mce-src="http://www.dewiscil.org.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/me2.gif" height="136" src="http://www.dewiscil.org.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/me2.gif" width="200" /></a>And so I began thinking of how I feel when I create. I remembered what it is like to let loose. I savored even picking up my fountain pen and filling it with ink before writing (yes, I still use a fountain pen). And I starting hearing the voice of the "Advocate." The Advocate is the voice that encouages me to let go and trust my instinct. The Advocate laughs, as I do, at the sheer joy in creativity. The Advocate comforts me when the fear of something new creeps up by reminding me how often I've been there and have chartered the rough waters successfully. Now I'm starting to realize how loud the Advocate's voice can be. <br />
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So I don't know if I'll ever banish the Judge. The old curmudgeon does make me aware of my work and pushes me to be better. But I want to allow the Advocate to speak and speak loudly on my behalf. Because there is nothing like being creative. It unleashes the best of us. What we have to do is overpower the Judge.Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-70141614347985227152014-01-20T06:52:00.000-08:002014-01-20T06:52:42.067-08:00New Year's Resolutions Are Not Dead Yet<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEjxUlxq7aUM9RLTSSJJJM400W0GKNsizAV2n3hsRH7xVG1agLBzjZnpgDMOeo0y0WIe3fBTm44mqrWp7-4z0NfCaKC6AFJhyphenhyphenUJB9f_TeaTOMt0OEZrjYWnScuEiLr_DY9tjv_eI6zWA8DljFBRHYFl_65Zs=" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" class="alignright" data-mce-src="http://wiki.vpa.mtu.edu/wiki/images/7/73/Canvas.jpg" src="http://wiki.vpa.mtu.edu/wiki/images/7/73/Canvas.jpg" height="200" width="171" /></a>The day has passed. Yes the world-wide day when most of us have abandoned our New Year's resolutions. At this point, we don't even look longingly back on what "might have been" but hope for better things next year. But wait! There is hope for us yet. Those longed for dreams of weight loss, exercise, writing, new work etc. still have a heart beat and can be resurrected. And all it takes is a little rethinking.<br />
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New Year's gives me hope of all the things I can accomplish. An unblemished canvas, it stretches languidly off into the 365 day distance with promises of a new start. Yet a mere 20 days later and the canvas seems grittier, dirtier and the few brush strokes on it lack the importance of impending brilliance. So what can we do?</div>
<strong>1. Stop looking at the entire year (or the next five)</strong><br />
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For many of us the daunting task of remaking our lives or at least some part of them shuts us down. Looking at the height we wish to achieve or the goal to accomplish just seems to much. So, the first thing some of us need to do is stop looking at the entire goal. Of course it's important to identify where we are going and why, but once that's done many of us have to get the larger goal out of our mind because it will paralyze us. <br />
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<strong>2. Choose the one thing that makes the biggest difference.</strong> <br />
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Dr. David Cooperrider asks the question "what's the smallest thing you can do to make the biggest difference?" That's a powerful question because I know I normally go for the biggest thing I can do. But Cooperrider is right. If we focus on something small, we can accomplish big things. We must break our goal down and down and down until we understand some of the behaviors that lead to that goal. For example it might mean getting up 30 minutes earlier to walk or write. Rerouting our trek to work so we don't walk by the Dunkin Donuts shop. Or just taking 10 minutes to look at the sky and think. What's the one behavior, the one thing we want to focus on?<br />
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<strong>3. Only work on the "one thing"</strong><br />
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The greatest athletes in the world only focus on improving 1% at a time. According to Dr. Greg Wells they concentrate on one movement, one muscle, one action until they get it just right and then they move on. For us, it's about focusing on our "one thing" and getting it right. Focusing on our "one thing" can change behavior long term and help us achieve larger goals. <br />
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So, it's not over yet. The canvas of the year is yet to be painted. We just need to remember, it's just one brush stroke at a time.
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For example, a minute after I started writing this blog I realized that today is recycling day. So, let me ask you, do I have a free choice as to whether I take out the recycling or not? The answer is no, my choice is not free. Every choice comes at a cost and when we understand the cost and the benefits that is when we truly have full control of our lives.<br />
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To use my example, the recycling has piled up in my basement since Christmas and is impeding clear access to the basement door. The recycling truck sometimes comes very early in my neighborhood. However it is raining right now and I'm comfortable in my room. Other factors include the societal imperative to recycle to save the environment. Also I have my personal standards of efficiency and order. On the other hand, I'm not dressed yet and I'm comfortable at my desk. However, you might still be thinking I'm free to make a choice. No, I'm not. I have to pay a price for that choice and therein lies my power.<br />
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<a href="http://www.dandodiary.com/uploads/image/writing-on-paper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.dandodiary.com/uploads/image/writing-on-paper.jpg" width="200" /></a>If I choose to stay at my desk, I pay the cost of an impassable basement for at least another week. If I choose to take out the recycling I pay the cost of an uninterrupted morning at my writing desk. On the other side of the decision if I take out the recycling I gain peace of mind and my basement back again. If I stay at my desk I gain a finished blog and some personal journal time. Hence, there are costs to every decision and benefits to every decision, they are not free.<br />
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Why does this matter? When we make any decision, but especially life decisions we can often feel we are not "free" to make the decision because of society, family, previous commitments or peer pressure. Many times people say to me "I can't pursue my goal because of ..." Essentially we end up blaming someone or something else as to why we can't or won't do something. That's where we err.<br />
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When we blame someone or something for why we can't do something we give up the most powerful ability we have as rational human beings: our power of choice. The choice might not be fair, or balanced; the pressure on us might be extreme to choose one way or another, but we always have a choice in everything we do. It is just that the choice will not be free. We have to decide if it is worth the cost.<br />
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But that is what is so freeing and so frightening. Once we realize the cost of choice and that we have ultimate control then we are totally responsible for our life. That is immensely empowering.<br />
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So, the next time you have to make a decision, think carefully about it. What is the cost you pay for your choice? What are you letting go, or putting aside; what value are you upholding against another? And, of course, what is the benefit you are gaining and how does it stack up against the cost? Knowing that your life is directed by you is an amazing and scary thing. But at least you know your life is yours because of your choices.<br />
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As for the recycling, I took it out.Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-16769234610814862582014-01-07T04:02:00.000-08:002014-01-07T04:02:08.821-08:00The Anatomy of a Selfie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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2013 brought us the height of the "selfie," a self-shot photo of oneself in a specific place, doing something interesting, or just making a face. The ultimate online scream "LOOK AT ME." Selfie even placed among the most popular words of 2013 and also one of the most argued about. Yet if we look beneath the surface of this simple act of self-portraiture, lies a culture heading in the wrong direction.<br />
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The main focus of the selfie is ME. There is no doubt about that. I am the center, I am the subject, verb, adjective, adverb in this photographic sentence. All that remains around me is commentary. <i>Look how well I am doing. Look how much fun I'm having (and you're not). Look how good I look</i>. Even,<i> look how stupid I look.</i> But the main point is ME. If this were only an assignment for a single class in self-confidence, self-awareness or self-photography it might lie passively online consumed by friends and family and quickly forgotten. Yet I believe there is a stronger tie to where our culture is going and this is only a symptom of a larger sickness.<br />
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Western societies right now are in the grip of a weltanschauung (or world view) of ME. Walking through a bookstore yesterday (yes, there are a few left) I noted that the self-help section was prominently displayed and very extensive. Yet there is not a "world-help" or "community-help" section. We scream about individual rights and that is important, but what about the rights of the society? We walk down the street in our own selfie way expecting others to move or acknowledge us, yet there is not that same respect in return.<br />
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Small breakdowns begin to occur when ME is the focus. Why should I wait for a red light when I have to be somewhere? Why should I turn off my cell phone on the plane because I'm important and I might receive an important call (or even a not important call)? Why should I obey the law when it's not convenient for me?<br />
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A weltanschauung of ME means that society is present for my benefit and those within it are meant to assist me (translate this to "serve me") when I need them to. It means that I will not give up or weaken on anything I believe even for a greater good to the community (note our lack of congress). Laws become guidelines but mostly for others if I can skirt them and not get caught (the spike in drivers running red lights). And mostly life becomes a striving for my success even at the detriment of others (Enron and Madoff).<br />
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We live in a world where we have to move together, live together and survive together. Of course, history presents us with plenty of evidence of the danger of only focusing on the welfare of the community to the detriment of the individual. The key is a balance of focus on the interest of society and the interest of the individual. When we work toward balance everyone benefits, not just the few.<br />
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So the next time you want to take a selfie, ask someone to take it for you. Someone is always willing to take a few seconds and snap the shot. It only takes a moment to be vulnerable enough to ask for help. And you will have made a connection and possibly a friend.Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-67111502733749020162013-09-23T04:53:00.000-07:002013-09-23T04:53:31.361-07:00Let's Start a Revolution<br />
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<img class="alignleft" data-mce-src="http://gbemiakande.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/optimism.jpg" height="109" src="http://gbemiakande.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/optimism.jpg" width="148" />Reading the news this weekend was an exercise in frustration. Though statistically we are supposed to be living in the most peaceful <span class="hiddenSpellError" pre="peaceful ">epoch </span>of humankind the examples of barbarism, extremism, isolationism and selfishness are rampant. Additionally there is an undercurrent that hope is dead, compromise is not even considered and working for the greater good is something we read about in history books. It would be easy in the face of all this depressing news to give up and give in to the monomaniacal mindset that since everything is so bad, it's every man and woman for him or her self. Screw everyone else, it's about me! Welcome to the world of 2013.</div>
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Enough of this crap. It's time to start a revolution. There are enough of us who hope, who work with others and who want to change the world for good. Perhaps the challenge is that we have not screamed louder than the chorus of nay-sayers, nor have we pushed them aside in our building of a great world. But what do we need to dispel the darkness that obscures possibilities? I read a quote over the weekend that placed things in perspective: <br />
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<strong>"Optimism is the greatest form of rebellion."</strong> </div>
In the face of all the negative news optimists are laughed at, ridiculed and shunted aside. Yet the belief that there are new possibilities, new ideas, and new energy is a rebellion against the tide. Rather than succumb to the overwhelming negativity or at best, apathy, we want more. By thinking of options and possibilities they don't magically appear, but we are more likely to see and grasp them when they do appear; more importantly we are willing to work for change because we believe it can happen. <br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">This will take personal committment on the part of many of us. But what will that cost? Last Friday I spoke to a room of professionals of the power of optimism, the success it brings and the change it ferments. The claim is that optimists don't see reality as it really is. Well that's BS. The difference is that we see reality as it really is but don't allow it to win. We believe we can change reality for the good. Yet to many people optimists are obnoxious. So I asked the audience to become "obnoxious optimists." That may be the only way the world will hear another voice, another way and a powerful energy toward positive change. </span>Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-65888689702761142082013-09-19T04:40:00.000-07:002013-09-19T04:40:57.009-07:00Weather Forecast for Greatness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Doesn't weather amaze you? The variations of each day; the multitudinous minuscule changes that accompany each shift in the atmosphere. Yet underlying all of the variations is an incredible consistency that we rely on. The sun rises each morning. We rotate around it in annual patterns and mostly we can predict what will happen during the various seasons because of this consistency.<br />
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Pursuing a goal, learning a skill, or ascending to the next level in anything runs according to this pattern. Yes, we need intensity to achieve great things. But if we only rely on intensity we will burn out, give up, or frustrate ourselves eventually. We need both consistency and intensity to learn or achieve anything. However<br />
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<b>Consistency is more important than intensity.</b></div>
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I've learned this important lesson many times in my life as I attempted new skills, tried to attain the next level of ability in an area, or worked to achieve a goal. I'd start with incredible intensity, work for hours in a day only to have the discarded carcasses of goals, dreams and tasks litter my little office. I'm really good at intensity... for a short period. </div>
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Studying individuals who have succeeded in amazing ways I've noticed they start with consistency. Each day, or every other day they pursue their goal, practice their skill or chip away at their project. The consistency takes on a routine and the routine propels them to completion. It is only with the foundation of consistency that intensity works. When there are those inspired moments, when you have the time to dedicate a full day to a project, or when you are driven to complete a certain phase, that intensity only helps take the consistency to a higher level. The important thing is not to give yourself a break the next day, or the next week because you have accomplished so much. Return to your practice the next day and return to your consistency. </div>
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Predictions in weather happen because we know averages, norms, seasonal changes and conditions that drive change. Achievement and personal greatness can also be seen the same way. Whatever you want to do, develop a consistent pattern of working at it every day or every other day. Allow the intensity to arise when it will, but return to the consistency. That pattern helps forecast your success. </div>
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<br />Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-31954940216279027652013-09-17T05:22:00.001-07:002013-09-17T05:22:58.402-07:00Put Your Sneakers By The Door<img height="140" src="http://www.a1-sneakers.com/images/k-swiss-sneakers.jpg" width="200" />I'm a runner. Okay, really I'm just a jogger and I usually plod along. But I'm most days you will find me outside running three to five miles. My friends ask me how I do it, how I get the discipline to run every day. Honestly, that's easy. It's become a habit. I automatically lace up my sneakers (mostly in the morning) and trek out just because it's become part of my day. I don't often think about the health benefits, or the extra food I might be able to eat. Running is just part of me. <br />
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I'm also a writer. Well, not really. I'm a blogger, who has written a few articles, a couple of books and most recently a chapter about Positive Psychology and high performance teams. However my writing, unlike my running, comes in fits and starts. At times I have to force myself to sit down and write something, anything, just to get going. But unlike those writers who say they have to write every day I havent' gotten in the habit. Why? I haven't put my sneakers by the door. <br />
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No, I haven't lost my mind. I've heard that in running one of the toughest things to do is lace up your sneakers. I disagree. The toughest thing is to put them on. When you place them where you can't miss them they are a constant reminder that they want to be worn. When I first went back to running a few years ago I put my sneakers in a very visible place as a reminder every day. Now I don't need to do that. <br />
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But what about something else you want to do? Whether you are a writer, a parent, a professional and there is something you want to improve on, or at least work at every day you can create habits. The easiest way to create a habit is to develop a ritual that you do on a consistent basis. <br />
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I've not created a ritual for my writing. For those who follow me on this blog I you know I haven't written for about a month. Though I know I write best in the morning I always find myself reading the news first, or scrolling through my emails and the next thing I know the morning has disappeared. Even running can be a distraction from my writing. A fellow artist told me the other day that he wakes up and starts writing. No distractions, no checking email. He has created the time and the space where he immediately puts words to paper (or words to screen). That might work for me. I need a visual reminder of what I want. As I open my laptop in the morning, or unscrew the top of my fountain pen I can enter a world of words and get lost in them. <br />
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Putting your sneakers by the door is a ritual reminding you to put them on. Placing your laptop or pen in a quiet area and going there the same time every day is equally as ritualistic. What is your ritual to the next thing you wish to do? Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-39261449483272559512013-09-04T11:20:00.002-07:002013-09-04T11:20:49.557-07:00Announcing The Greatness Project Channel on YoutubeWell, it's time to try something new. What the heck, that's the way we learn right? So we are launching The Greatness Project on Youtube. We will still blog for those of us who are into the written word, but for those who like visuals we will try to place a weekly video about the latest research, findings or scientific studies that help all of us achieve our personal greatness.<br />
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Here is the link to the first video. http://youtu.be/2Zm4c5Z4fIc We are very open to feedback and suggestions, and we want to get our information out to a wider audience.<br />
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Thanks.<br />
Scott and JanGreatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-18272584900028204942013-06-25T08:18:00.000-07:002013-06-25T08:18:24.134-07:00How to Train Your Boss<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Palatino Linotype', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;"></span><br />
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If you haven’t read the latest Gallup results about workplace engagement, don’t. It’s depressing. According to Gallup 70% of the workers in this country are either out to get their company or minimally have mentally checked out. Only 30% are engaged and enjoy their jobs. More fascinating but not unexpected is the main reason for workplace discontent, the boss. According to the study what employees want from their bosses are three things: regular praise, opportunity for growth and involve<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ment on how </span></span>to improve whatever work they do. Well, if you have one of those bosses who fails in any one or all of these areas, here are some things you can do to train your boss.</div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Ask for pr</strong><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">aise.</strong> More specifically ask for feedback. If you really want to know how you are doing, ask on a regular basis. Most managers assume their employees know how they are doing which is why they don’t tell them. Also it’s uncomfortable for managers to give difficult feedback to people they don’t believe are receptive. After all, bosses are human. So make sure you ask what you are doing well (so you are praised, but more importantly so you can repeat it) and what you are not doing well. And be ready to listen to it.</div>
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When I was at Merrill Lynch I gave my manager a printed list at the end of the week of all I had accomplished (she didn’t do email). It gave her the opportunity to provide immediate feedback and I knew if I was on track or not.</div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Ask for opportunities. </strong>Assuming that your boss knows you want to try new opportunities at work is bad communication. Bosses can’t mind-read. If you want to try new assignments or growth opportunities, ask for them. And make sure the description, expectations, support, and final result are clear so that you will have the best opportunity to succeed. You also might come with suggestions of areas you want to explore. That way the boss doesn’t have to think it up.</div>
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Recently a support person on a financial team wanted to expand into the role of events planner. She suggested to her boss that a culinary experience might be fun for clients and beneficial to the team. So she volunteered to run it. When it was successful she became the event planner for the team, but without her suggesting it her boss would not have thought about it.</div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Suggest improvements.</strong> No one knows your job like you do. You probably know many ways your work can be improved to be more efficient, productive, etc. But all that brain power goes to waste if you don’t get your idea to your boss. So, if they don’t ask you how to improve your work or your job, suggest it to them. Start with how it will improve the work. When bosses see that something can be better they quickly realize what is in it for them. Then detail how and why your suggestion can be implemented. Finally suggest a trial run so that your boss can see the results. And remember, at the end of all this, if your idea is adopted, your boss will get most if not all of the credit, but she/he will understand where the idea came from and your will have bettered your workplace.</div>
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I worked with a team that struggled to meet it’s goals, everyone was on edge and not a lot was getting done. One of the newer members of the team suggested a reorganization of the work based on people’s strengths. She convinced the boss to try it. After the initial test they found that both their productivity and morale soared. The bonus was that the boss gave her all the credit.</div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Praise your boss.</strong> This is the most important discipline of all. When your boss does something right, thank her/him. If they have a particularly efficient meeting, tell them what was so good about it and thank them for running it that way. If they praise you, thank them and tell them how much it meant to you. If they give you good feedback, thank them and tell them why the feedback was so good. The reason is that, like all of us, bosses like to do things right and most likely aren’t hearing anything from their own boss. When you thank them for what they did well, they are much more likely to repeat it.</div>
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I’ve always believed that people need to take control of their own lives. In the workplace we are very much at the mercy of our bosses. Yet they are not always the villain. Many times they are being pushed, prodded and driven from multiple directions at once and are overwhelmed. They also need to be trained on how to deal specifically with you. Teach them. Help them to be the boss you need them to be by following these four simple disciplines. They will be better for it and you will be happier and more engaged.</div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-41883486522449315192013-06-18T04:38:00.000-07:002013-06-18T04:38:12.533-07:00Work-Life Balance is the Holy Grail of Our Era<br />
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<a href="http://www.bubble-jobs.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/work-life-balance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="alignleft" height="199" src="http://www.bubble-jobs.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/work-life-balance.jpg" title="" width="200" /></a>There is no such thing as work-life balance. There I said it and I wasn’t struck by lightning nor did the house shake. Though the inspirational-speaker-gods might be angry with me the ground did not swallow me up. The work-life balance misnomer has floated around for quite a while and it has been the cash cow for a lot of speakers, including me. Everybody seems to want to know how to find the magic balance. It is the holy grail of our era. But just like the holy grail of old, it is just a legend, a myth. It doesn’t exist.</div>
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Arianna Huffington’s Third Metric Conference recently focused on redefining success. She identifies that there needs to be a third way of defining success. She believes the first two metrics of success are money and power. Then she offers that the third metric needs to be about well-being. Reading about the conference I agreed with her up until this point. There needs to be a redefinition of success and that is great fodder for another blog. But as I read further in the article I believe the conference just made it more difficult for everybody. They said that the way to find success is to balance money, power and well-being. Okay, now they have just guaranteed that those who attended the conference and those reading about it just added tremendously to their stress level.<br />
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Work-life balance is not possible. Mathematically it is almost impossible to balance the hours in a day so that there are precisely enough for work and leisure. More importantly to separate work from life is ridiculous. Most of us have to work for a living. (Perhaps unless you are Arianna Huffington.) Work is integral to our lives. So, what do we have to do?<br />
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The challenge of work-life imbalance is stress and guilt. We spend more time on one side of the equation at the expense of the other and we feel stressed out and guilty. We believe we should be focused more on one element than the other whether it’s work or leisure. So the answer is choosing our imbalance.<br />
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Some of us actually enjoy the work we do. We are passionate about it and we gain joy in our creativity and success. Others love the power or connection their work brings. And it pulls us away from our family and loved ones. But if we choose the “work” side of the equation to focus on, and accept the fact that it will demand our time, perhaps we can relax so that when we spend the time with our loved ones, or in leisure we can savor the moment rather than feel torn about getting back to work. Or conversely, if we identify that we want to spend the majority of our time with our family and loved ones we set that expectation in our mind, work as little as we can and accept the consequences.<br />
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The challenge with work-life balance thinking is the fallacy that we can “have it all.” In reality we can’t have it all, but we can have more of what we want if we stop searching for the grail of balance and just accept whatever imbalance we choose.Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-17551274893235170962013-06-07T09:26:00.000-07:002013-06-07T09:26:30.899-07:00The Ritual Effect<div style="text-align: right;">
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Many years ago when I first began speaking to audiences I would become so nervous I'd want to vomit. I was given some great instruction and wonderful advice that has helped me transition to a much calmer and more professional speaker. One of the key pieces of advice was to create a "ritual." Seriously? When I first heard the word "ritual" I thought of incense and prayers since as an ordained clergyman I've participated in many rituals over the years. But what was suggested to me was using a physical movement that would trigger my body when I was about to speak. My body would then react by moving the energy to where I needed it and not leave it in my stomach. All these years later I still use that same quick ritual before I speak and I feel myself gaining control.<br />
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Recently Forbes Magazine ran an article about two associate professors at Harvard, Michael Norton and Francesca Gino, who are researching the effects of rituals. They discovered that rituals help alleviate grief and also enhance the experience of eating. Well, as a clergyman, I know about alleviating grief, but had to smile at rituals enhancing eating. Yet what I wondered is why it has taken so long for many of us to catch on to the power of rituals. </div>
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Rituals enhance, assist and invigorate most activities. Actors, singers, athletes and business men and women use them effectively every day to be better at what they do. A ritual helps them prepare, focus and be energized throughout an action. We now teach professionals to create their own rituals so that they can quickly engage in an activity rather than be hesitant or distracted. </div>
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For example, when I am writing something new I prefer to create the idea long hand. Only once the idea is on paper do I sit at my keyboard and flesh it out. But the ritual I use before I write brings my mind into focus and relaxes me. First I purchased some very nice pens. My favorite is a fountain pen which I purposely fill with ink each time I want to start a new article, or book. The movement of deliberately picking up the pen, opening it and filling it with ink relaxes and focuses me. It's as if my mind and body know what's coming and so they are ready. </div>
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What rituals do you use in your life and work? How do you prepare your mind and body so you will be more relaxed and focused during any activity? Remember, you can create rituals to enhance anything you do. Just as long as they are followed every time by that activity your mind and body will be more in tune and more focused as you start. And you can even use them to enjoy your meals more. </div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-61913870759423008922013-06-04T07:39:00.000-07:002013-06-04T07:39:43.281-07:00The Devil Made Me Do It: Disbelief in Free Will May Lead to Unsocial Behaviors<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Palatino Linotype', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;"></span><br />
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Those of us old enough to remember the comic Flip Wilson also remember his alter ego Geraldine. When Flip Wilson dressed up as Geraldine, it was hard to forget. Geraldine was a vivacious, amazingly funny, energetic woman who never took responsibility for her own actions. Her classic line after a lewd remark or action was “the devil made me do it.” And since she believed she had no control over her actions she’d just laugh and carry on.</div>
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One of the crucial elements of achievement, success and personal greatness is the belief that you are in control of your choices and actions. Individuals who have higher degrees of success take the actions they need because they believe they are in control of their choices no matter the circumstances around them. They will admit that sometimes the choices aren’t balanced or equal, but they still have a choice. In my workshop Roadmap to Personal Greatness the first exercise I offer is one designed to help people understand what is behind their choices and most importantly, that they have free choice no matter what is going on.</div>
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Do we have free will? Can we make a free decision at a crucial moment to alter our own actions? There are some psychologists and sociologists who would clam that we don’t have a choice. They claim we are primed for certain behaviors. These behaviors become constant either because of the genetic wiring in our brain or because of the habitual reflexes we develop. The researchers make a good case that we often react without consciously choosing what we are doing. Some philosophers go further by trumpeting determinism where all our actions are pre-determined anyway and we are just acting out a preassigned role. I’m not going to argue about free will. However there is recent research that disbelief in free will may cause some disruptive behaviors.</div>
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Using texts that argued against free will, researchers first had volunteers read the texts (the control group read neutral texts) and then gave the volunteers various activities to participate in. Vohs and Schooler found that those induced to disbelieve in free will were more likely to cheat on a test, they were more aggressive and less social than others, whereas those who strengthened their belief in free will fostered a sense of thoughtful reflection and willingness to exert energy to accomplish a task. Overall the researchers found that our personal belief about free will affects job performance and career attitudes based on having control over our actions.</div>
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Most of us believe we have free will, but it is more of a philosophical thought. When I ask people what gets in their way of achieving their goals, too often they blame others or circumstances on why they can’t make the choice. Yet in every moment of every day, we have the choice to decide how we will act. It’s not always easy and it’s not always fair, but we always have a choice. Otherwise, we may as well just blame our actions on the devil.</div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-4392107638201164922013-05-24T06:25:00.002-07:002013-05-24T06:25:28.693-07:00What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>“The problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred.”</strong> — George Bernard Shaw</div>
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My days are spent talking. Either I’m standing in front of a group giving a speech or workshop (as is the case this week) or I’m speaking in a small group or with an individual. Basically I get paid to speak. It’s not a bad gig and I enjoy it. Yet listening to the leaders in this current workshop you’d think talking was a lost art form. They bemoan the fact that they believe they communicate well, but find out that they’ve barely been heard, and not understood, or they’ve not been heard at all. One of the leaders in the workshop shared with us the George Bernard Shaw quote that “The problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred.”</div>
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I’ve always found it amusing that communication is referred to as a “soft” skill. Of course this actually reflects that its well nigh impossible to calibrate communication, compared to a skill such as accounting where there is clear definition. Yet too often, people refer to these “soft” skills as though communication is easy or it doesn’t matter as much. It is very difficult to do it properly. That is why, when communication is done effectively it is so obvious.</div>
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Interestingly enough, we live in an age were there is the illusion of constant communication. Cell phones are glued to people’s ears. Fingers are toughened through constant tapping on screens. We have facebook, twitter, IM, Skype, Oovoo, and a myriad of devices to communicate. And yet so often people complain about not knowing what is going on, or they have misunderstood some form of electronic communication and had to apologize.</div>
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Let’s face it. The most powerful and clear form of communication is face to face communication. We can hear the person, watch their gestures, listen to their tone and get the message. Nothing can replicate face to face dialogue. And even then, I often think I’ve explained something very clearly only to find my listener received a totally different message.</div>
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Technology is great for many things, but getting a message across about business, politics, religion, opinion or love is best done so you can look into people’s eyes. Even then, we all need work on how to be concise and clear. Want to know how good you are? Ask someone to summarize something you spoke about. You will find very quickly if your communication is real or an illusion.</div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404461480214322921.post-70628149526540948882013-05-21T05:44:00.000-07:002013-05-21T05:44:20.443-07:00Fly the Skies: Friendly or Not
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At Newark Airport yesterday morning a group of us stepped up
to the TSA pre-screened line. Having done the extra paperwork and having
allowed the extra scrutiny by the government, I look forward to the shorter
line. Yet, I noticed the agent turning away many of those who approached her.
Confident that I had been vetted, I approached the agent and she scanned my
ticket. “Nope” she cheerfully said, “you don’t have access.” Determinedly I
scanned my boarding pass again, but did not hear the usual three beeps allowing
access to the shorter line. As she pointed her finger to show me the way, I
joined the other, much longer, line. Apparently the TSA occasionally refuses
even those who are validly pre-screened as part of their security procedure.
Yet what fascinated me was the palpable glee on the agent’s face as she denied
access to many fliers. Most of the time she wouldn’t even look at them while
she pointed to the end of the other line. As I watched she would sometimes wag
her finger in the faces of some of the fliers telling them they were refused
and their wait was about to become much longer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yesterday Newark Airport was a laboratory of emotion,
self-esteem and personal interaction. Like most days for each of us, it offered
the possibility of acceptance and rejection, success and failure, and control
along with lack of control. But even more powerful was the glimpse into how
most people are treated in life and how depersonalizing that is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Watching the faces of individuals in the airport I saw
anger, despair, helplessness and frustration. Rarely did I encounter people
smiling or walking confidently. Yet as I thought about it, it is natural to
react to what has become a threatening environment. Long lines are exacerbated
by agents telling you very little news and yet demanding you stay in them.
Everyone tries moving as efficiently as possible and become irritated when
someone in front of them is too slow. And of course, there is the strip search.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What struck me is that, despite some excellent TSA agents
(aside from the one at the pre-screen line) who were trying to help people and
keep a smile on their face, the situation and the necessary security treats
people in a very inhumane way. When that happens, people respond to the feeling
of threat by fighting, fleeing or freezing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What we need in life to make us feel human and special is
easy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Use names. Remember the sweetest sound to the
human ear is the sound of their own name. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Smile occasionally. We live in a world where
people smile less frequently, especially in new situations. We need others to
smile and allow us to relax. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Create eye contact. There is nothing better for
the soul than to know you’ve been acknowledged. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Treat others with respect. We are working our
way through this world like everyone else. Give others the respect you deserve.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve flown over a million miles and that is just on one
airline. Traveling can be challenging, and it’s the perfect analogy for life.
We are all going some destination. Either we can be concerned only about
ourselves, or we can realize that everyone else is a traveler too. The
traveling is much better when we all respect each other, mount the challenges
together and then enjoy the ride.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Greatness Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14856538340151309430noreply@blogger.com0