Everyone Has a Story

Everyone has a story. Our stories seek release. The compilation of a lifetime of truths, or the brilliant awakenings of youth, our stories are integral to our own awareness of self and essential for the growth of others. They are composed from the hard knocks of life and the moments of ecstasy. These stories shape us as we tell them or write them, chipping away at the unessential and leaving a masterful sculpting of who we are at our best and our worst.

We don't think much our stories, told at dinner tables, or more likely in the car at McDonalds. We glibly share the troubles, toils, and triumphs of the day, yet these words shape us and shape those around us. Leaving a story with an unfulfilled ending creates a tension in those who listen. Will it end well or not? Whether we realize it, our world view is captured in our telling of our story more than almost anything else we do. Do we see the world as a safe place, or one in which to be afraid? Most importantly, are there heroes and villains, reconciliation or revenge, peace or war? This is what our stories tell about us. This is what our stories teach our children.

The problem with our stories is that no one seems to care any more. If a story can't be condensed into 144 characters, it seems too long. Who listens? Do we even listen to ourselves? Letting others tell their story and also teaching them to listen helps us all unlock the secrets of life through the triumphs and tragedies, heroes and villains. The stories may not always have a happy ending, but they all speak the truth.

Making Greatness Be Enough

The word "greatness" scares people. Heck, sometimes it frightens me. It is because we think of greatness mostly in the context of astounding feats, historic accomplishments and breath-taking acts of heroics. Yet in our daily lives greatness means using the gifts and talents we have to the best of our ability in any given moment. Recently I had an email exchange with a friend of mine. Nancy agreed that I could share her story and our exchange to highlight the daily reality of greatness. The email correspondence went like this.

Nancy: How do you get great when you're in a slump? The job, the home, the kids... greatness feels like a heavy lift.

Scott: Sometimes it's the little things. Find something you do really well (something small) and do it and succeed. It is a great energy booster. Sometimes greatness resides in getting through the day without killing someone, or losing your temper. We tend to think of it as everything going great. Sometimes it is surviving the difficult stuff.

Nancy: After a long and unproductive weekend (not to mention my 30th high school reunion – how did I get so old??), Tuesday back at work was dragging. Last night, after I read your message I initially thought – ugh, I’m not good at anything. Well, that can’t be true. In fact, I’m a great shopper! First I laughed, then I was telling my daughter about it and she said – you’re right, Mom, and I need shoes for the formal dance on Friday, let’s shop (she HATES shopping, probably switched at birth, but I digress). We had a really enjoyable visit and bought shoes and a dress for an upcoming event. Although I didn’t discover a cure for cancer or solve the world economic crisis, it sure meant the world to her. And I didn’t kill anyone AND I didn’t lose my temper. All in all a great night. Sometimes I guess we just need to re-define greatness. Tonight I plan on making a great dinner – and making that be enough.

My friends and family remind me constantly that greatness can be scary because most people can only focus on getting through the day. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I believe that most people want to get through their day in a way that is fulfilling, passionate and powerful. When I plant my feet on the floor in the morning and choose to pursue greatness each day I may not solve all of the world's problems, but I'm focused on using all of my gifts and abilities in the best way I can, even on the tough days and making that be enough.

Pull The Trigger

Recently we were invited to speak to a group of middle managers about greatness. The session was very interactive and informative concerning perceptions of greatness and what gets in the way of individuals pursuing their personal greatness. We noted how easy it was to identify why people won't pursue greatness. The discussion was lively and almost raucous as we listed all of the barriers. Then we asked another question. "What is it that encourages or triggers people to pursue greatness?" The silence was thunderous.

As we engaged the managers about what triggered some of them to be at their very best every day we eventually revealed a plethora of reasons. It seems that everyone had their personal trigger compelling them to seek greatness. So, we realize that one size does not fit all when it comes to encouraging greatness.

But think about it for a second. If you identify a moment you were at your very best, what was it that made you try so hard? Was it pride, desire, curiosity, stubbornness, or one of a host of triggers? If you can identify your personal trigger, you can employ it to help you be at your best everyday. Greatness is not a single action or pursuit, it is a lifestyle. Yet we all know that there are some days easier than others to continue the journey toward greatness.

Take the time to identify your trigger. Then, when you feel yourself flagging on the journey, pull the trigger.

Let us know what triggered you to pursue greatness, it might help others discover theirs.

Seeing the Stumbling Blocks

If you could be happier, healthier, or pick whatever "er" you like, why wouldn't you do it? I've thought about this mystery quite a bit over the past few years. Faced with either insanity (doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results) and positive change, some people choose insanity. Why? I've got a few ideas, but I'd love to hear yours.

#1. S--t is warm. Though we might be up to our ears in it, we know what we are dealing with. We don't like the situation, but we don't know what would happen if we change it. So, perhaps fear of the unknown is greater than fear of the known (even if we don't like where we are).

#2. We are clueless. Interesting studies show that we tend to influence and be influenced by our friends. After a while this can create a group-think. So, if all of my friends willingly put up with mistreatment, ill health, bad habits, it is pretty natural that I will. Because this is the group I hang with, I might not have any idea that life can be different. I have no desire to change my behavior because I don't know there is another way to live.

#3. One is the loneliest number. Because we tend to surround ourselves with those who think and act similar to us we worry that if we change they will reject us. Actually that is pretty sound reasoning. Think about it. You change your behavior and you, by implication, suggest that others in your group do also. Traitor! Better we all go down together than risk the change. This is one of the main reasons that AA suggests to it's members to change their friends.

#4. No one else to blame. This I believe is the most powerful reason people choose not to embrace positive change. If I take control and change my life, I am fully responsible. There is no one else to blame if something doesn't work out. It is easier to just stay where I am and blame my situation or other people.

These are just a few ideas about why people might not embrace positive change, but they concern me. Helping people achieve their personal greatness is a passion and a quest. These are just some of the stumbling blocks. Perhaps if we can identify them, we can help get them out of the way. What other stumbling blocks have I missed?

The Product is You

I called a CEO of a large non-profit to check in and see how he was handling these tough times. Always interested in empowering his staff and creating a great work environment I wanted to see what he asking of his staff considering these tough times. He told me that he is asking them all to be entrepreneurs. "I want them to have the mindset that this is their business and to be looking for new and different ways to make money for the organization." He went on to share with me an example of an employee stepping up with a great new idea for generating revenue.

But he got me thinking about greatness and how we approach our lives. Okay, I'll ask you the question I was pondering myself: are you the owner, entrepreneur of your own life, or does someone else own it and you are working for them? Don't answer too quickly. There are those who are not living for themselves, making their own decisions, or changing anything. They are just getting by. If you want to be the owner of your own life there are a few things to consider.

Initially we have to develop a product. What we have to offer to the world is ourselves; we are our product. So, how unique is your product? Are you continually updating and refining your product? Is it the best product it can be, or have you settled for an average product?

The second step is marketing. Since you are your product, what do people see when they look at you? Are you presented in the best way possible? Is there something else that could maximize your marketability? What is your ad campaign, in other words, how do people learn about what you do?

The final step is fulfillment. When someone deals with your product (you) what do they experience? Is it always high quality, timely, excellent? Or is the product just mediocre?

So, if you make the choice to be a life entrepreneur, it's time to take a hard look. The product is you. How are sales going?

Ticket to Greatness

Driving route 195 Jan and I were in a animated discussion about greatness. Specifically we were excited about our launch of greatness architects and the establishment of a new charitable foundation called the Greatness Project Fund. Greatness architects are like minded individuals who are imagining and designing ways that they or others can achieve greatness. We hope to create a world-wide movement to engage people in the dialogue about and unleashing of personal greatness. But our dialogue was interrupted by the flashing lights of the police car behind us. Yep. The officer was pulling us over.

Walking up to our car he stopped slightly behind the front door and asked for Jan's license and registration. Looking them over he told us "I pulled you over because you were going 78 in a 65 mile an hour zone. I'll be right back." But instead of walking back to his car he asked "was there some emergency that you were going so fast?" Jan replied "no, we were just having a really exciting dialogue about greatness." The office stopped and then asked "you were discussing greatness?" We replied yes and told him about greatness architects and the greatness project fund.

After a brief discussion, the officer smiled broadly and said to Jan "I'm gonna let you go today with just a warning to slow down. And, when you talk about this, tell people you met a great NJ state trooper." With that he walked back to his patrol car.

I'm not advocating using this method to get out of a ticket, but as an example of the interest so many people have in greatness. My hope is that as we move more people to talk about greatness, it will change behavior, mindsets and eventually change lives. Hopefully the dialogue is a true ticket to greatness.

Getting Out of Our Own Way

Flying to Akron, Ohio to work with a business on leadership, I'm stuck pondering why we get in our own way to greatness. Jan, my business partner, had a session with business leaders in Chicago. Despite having research to show how moving toward a positive work environment was more productive, the group argued about why they would want to recognize someone for good work or even be positive. Says a lot about the state of business these days. More importantly these leaders requested the session because things are not going well. Yet presented with well-researched methods to improve their performance as well as their employees, they steadfastly refused to change their behavior.
Rather than spend my time berating these leaders, I also have to admit that change does not come easily to me either. I have my ways of thinking and doing that I've developed over the past 52 years. And when push comes to shove I'm tempted to push and shove new ideas out of my way rather than change. So how do we get out of our own way? I think we need help. On our own we can remain steadfast in denial that anything needs to change. When there are those we trust, who we listen to, they can call us to greater things.
Call them coach, mentor, colleague, or simply friend, we need people in our lives who push us out of our own way. These are people who remind us of who we can be when we are either too blind to see the next step or too stubborn to take it. That old adage “behind every successful man, there’s a woman” is mostly true. But perhaps we can make it more inclusive to say that behind every successful person there is someone who encourages them. I’m lucky enough to have begun with one person who I trusted very much. Now I’m willing to listen to others and so my circle of “encouragers” has expanded.
Who do you listen to, talk to, share your ideas with? If you can’t name someone, get someone. It is easy to become lost in our own thoughts, behaviors, habits, and actions. We need others to push us out of our own way, to help us achieve our greatness.