China and US: Virtue is Found in The Middle

In Beijing our guide proudly escorted us through palaces and monuments of China's glorious past and around examples of their unlimited potential. She consistently spoke about how the government was moving to correct corruption and even referenced, though in veiled language, some of the challenges they face. Yet when speaking about the government, the country, or even herself she consistently used the pronoun "we." She embodied a "collective" mindset and provides a key learning point for all of us struggling to create a place where everyone can achieve their personal greatness.

We focus in this country on individuality. From the creation of the Constitution we emphasized the rights of the individual. This fosters an atmosphere where whatever is right for me is the most important thing. The state's responsibility is to protect my rights so that I can grow as an individual. This differentiation from others has it's place. It is part of the natural healthy psychological growth of any child. Yet have we taken it too far?

Current society offers us the iphone, ipad, moble me, (emphasis on "I" or "me"). We can eat individually by "having it my way," or with a "personal pan pizza." We are invited to create our own "personal home page" on many online sites and the news sites allow us to personalize the news we read. Mostly everything we read, eat, or do allows us to individualize in some form or another.

Yet the reality exists that we are a community. We have laws and societal standards which assist our growth, stability and functioning as a collective. This collective thinking is singularly important when developing the possibility of all people to discover and attain their personal greatness. What are we doing as a society to help all people move toward that goal? Are we willing to assist others, and occasionally compromise so that others can also succeed?

These are hard questions and they come with balance. In collective cultures, such as China, there is little place for the development of the individual outside what they can provide for the collective whole (though this is changing as I write this). What occurs is a society where almost everyone is working for the common good of all. What it doesn't foster is the development of the powers of each individual to be independently creative, critical and opportunistic. Conversely we have a society where we encourage individuality to the point that many people focus solely on their personal gain to the detriment of society.

Augustine of Hippo once stated "virtue is found in the middle." Developing individual strengths and personality is essential to the natural psychological growth of any individual and assists the whole society. But additionally it is necessary to have moments of compromise and agreement so that the society as a whole can thrive and foster each individual's personal greatness. Growth toward personal greatness cannot be found solely by focusing on "I" but by balancing our personal needs with the needs of the group and also focusing on "we." The balance is key and creates a place where everyone can grow and thrive.

China: What Can We Learn From Them?

My recent trip to Beijing confirmed what I learned on my first trip last year. China is a country in search of a vision. She doesn't really know what she wants to be. My driver took me on unplanned routes past new empty factories and housing developments.  They were built to emphasize the new growth of China, but are not yet affordable to the people. He took me past the national museum with the brand new statue of Confucius outside and said that the government was reintroducing Confucius because communism was failing. Capitalism has been introduced, but regulated unevenly; at times with a heavy hand and other times the government looks away. China has built brand new internal airports only to have them sit empty and still they intend to build the largest airport in the world in Beijing. Where are they going? What are they trying to be?

Mao's Mausoleum

There is no doubt of the growth in China. They are moving at a very rapid pace toward new technologies and innovative ideas. Their new architecture is amazing by any city's standards. But once you look past the surface, the growth is uneven and haphazard. This is a country in search of a vision; they don't know who they want to be.

Individual, organizational and national growth depend on a few characteristics; the freedom to grow, innovative ideas, resources to develop those ideas, and a clear direction. China has all but the last characteristic. Their history illuminates the development from fiefdoms, to a powerful imperial dynasty, then a strong communist state, and now, well, not really anything.

Any of us can learn from their challenges. I've met with countless individuals who had the freedom, ideas, and resources to be amazing at whatever they chose. The challenge was that they never chose. I've struggled with that same challenge. When there are so many avenues to choose to try new things, it's difficult to pick one because you worry you will chose incorrectly, or leave a good road behind.

However the poison of indecision is far more insidious than we realize. Trapped in not choosing a direction, we wallow in perpetual mediocrity, or occasion triumphs only to sink back into uncertainty. To achieve our best, we need a direction.

Sometimes, for me, it is as simple as picking a direction I really believe I want my life to move and taking a few steps. I've learned that sometimes it becomes very clear, very quickly that it is the wrong direction and I can retrace my steps and head another way. But I've clarified my direction and eliminated a road for the future. That is worth the attempt. Sometimes I choose well and it feels like everything clicks into place as I move toward my vision.

Ask yourself: what's my vision for myself, or for my organization or family? Is it clear to me? Is it clear to others? Once you have identified your vision strive for it with everything you have because all your energies will be focused in the same direction and you will more likely succeed.

China: Does Size Really Matter?

Towering, hulking walls welcome and intimidate the visitor to the "Forbidden City" in the heart of Beijing China. Home of Chinese royalty for generations this massive city structure highlights the grandeur of the emperors and stands in sharp contrast from the People's Congress across the 16 lane street in front of the main gate. From the Great Wall, to Tienanmen Square (which holds 1 million people) to the Summer Palace and the massive airport, China builds everything on a huge scale. But does size really matter to greatness? That depends.

Working in Beijing last week (which is why I couldn't blog since this blog is blocked) I took time to visit some of the main tourist sites of the city. Though it was my second time there I am still amazed at the enormity of so many aspects of the city. There are 6 "ring" roads around the city and though they are fairly large highways, the traffic is mostly congested. But Beijing needs these ring roads because the city is 7,000 square miles. Even aside from the traditional tourist attractions, the modern architecture is stunning. One complex of buildings is shaped as a massive dragon boat and another, under construction, looked like an immense whirlpool. But does it matter?

There is a pride the Chinese have for this city of emperors and it is right they have it. Thousands of years of proud history compel and propel these people forward and they still want to make their mark. This is a foundation of greatness - believing you have the history and the ability to impact your world, whether it is your neighborhood, or your country. They still want to be a great nation and they try to inspire their citizens to work toward that goal. That is something we can learn from.

However size always presents the challenge to nimbleness. We live in an age where ideas are being created and  disseminated  rapidly and globally. Technology advances have increased the speed of change. I'm not advocating that speed is always good, but when everything you do is on a large and grand scale, change comes slowly. Having ages of history creates pride, but when time is measured in centuries, decisions can be slow in coming.

The balance for any country, or person, is to have pride in your history, the struggles, the successes and even the failures. That foundation impels us to move forward just as our ancestors did. Yet, we need to find the space to change sometimes in small increments as we move toward personal greatness, or national greatness.

So, size does matter. It just needs to be balanced to achieve greatness.

Spring Awakening

Yesterday was beautiful in New Jersey. Though there were strong winds, the smell of spring spiraled through the air, the daffodils pushed up through the soil and the sun was strong. It's early for Spring, but it is always welcome. As I saw the world coming to life again, I reflected on moments of new growth for all of us.

As I travel and work around the world I'm struck that many adults seem to be just going through the motions. There is little evidence of life and energy left in us. Walking through the major cities in the world most adults walk with their heads down, eyes on the pavement, seemingly lost on some serious intent, but looking bored or angry. And yet there are those who catch my eye with their energy, smile and passion. They draw me like a bee to honey. Why are they so energetic?

All of us have times of exhaustion when we move from day to day in a fog just getting through. Yet for some it's become a lifestyle for many of us. I find myself occasionally sinking into the tepidness of routine, but I'm enamoured by those who have so much energy. What I'm learning is that they have found what they love to do, they do it with passion and they are so in love with their life they are not afraid to express their passion.

These individuals who exude all of this energy don't seem to run out. Energy grows even as they display it in all they do. And it's not just extroverted people who do this. Even introverts who love what they do glow with an inner radiance. So, if like me you find yourself not being the energetic person you want to be, just reexamine your life. Find something you love to do. Whether it is part of your work, your personal life, your art, awaken yourself to passion and joy. You will be amazed what transformation takes place in all of the other areas in your life. Additionally, you will surprise those around you also. Now is the time for a spring awakening.

Why Do You Do?

When meeting someone for the first time most Americans will first learn a person's name. Then, once we have that memorized, or not, we ask the most common question "what do you do?" Receiving the answer, we can comfortably place that individual in our mental model of how the world works, how relevant their job is and decide if we really care for them or not. Sadly our question reinforces the backwards way of thinking that leads us away from personal greatness. What is most important to success is not what we do, but why we do it.

This past week I listened to two TED talks. One of them explored the inverted way that successful individuals and companies think. Most of us, when asked about what we do as an individual or a company respond by stating "what" we do, then "how" we do it and possibly we might get to "why" we do it at the very end. Essentially we are driven by what we do. But research indicates that very successful companies think the opposite way. They first focus on "why" they do what they do. That is what connects them to others, sells their products and differentiates them. Then they move on to "how" they do it and finally, they transform their "what" into products that are unique and life changing.

We tend to focus on what we do and for many of us, it's been a long time since we focused on why we do it. But focusing on why we do our profession provides motivation, zeal, energy and passion because we hopefully believe in what we do. This is one of the markers of the characteristic of grit. We will persevere because we believe in our reason for doing something.

So, take some time to sit and think about why you do what you do. If you can identify a reason which you really believe, you can unlock passion, energy and ultimately grit. This can propel you to success. And perhaps the next time you meet someone instead of asking "what do you do?" you will think of asking them "why do you do?"

Greatness is Like Going To The Dentist?

Okay, I spent this morning at the dentist. Nothing bad, just a cleaning and checkup that I'd put off for a little over a year. Gratefully, the results were good and there is nothing out of the ordinary, so I'm off the hook for at least 6 months. But while in the dentist chair I was thinking about some shocking statistics I heard recently. Apparently the number of cavities, root canals, even crowns and dental surgery has skyrocketed in the past year. What was most shocking was that it is occuring to young children. The researchers traced one of the causes back to lack of desire on parents part to subject their children to regular brushing because "the children didn't like doing it." Though I'm not a parent, I'm concerned.

Growing up many of us learned the lessons of perseverence because we were encouraged to work for something if we really wanted it. We learned to be happy with the struggle because at the end of it, we would be rewarded with the prize we worked so hard to achieve. Whether it was purchasing a guitar, making a spot on a team, studying to make the honor roll, we embraced the concept that hard work paid off. Psychologists call it "delayed gratification" or if you look at in in terms of perseverence, they call it "grit." Sadly we are quickly becoming a society where happiness and wellbeing is so highly prized at every moment that there is little attention paid to the necessity of long, hard struggle to achieve something worthwhile. Or, ideally, to enjoy the struggle because it means that in the end, you will succeed.

Over the 12 years spent studying personal greatness, I'm always impressed with the fortitude of those who continue practicing, striving, fighting to attain something they really want, and I'm fearful we are creating a society where that characteristic will be a rareity. Recently I'm started setting tough goals for myself once again and going after them. Why? Because I've realized how much I've been seduced into selecting happiness in the moment rather than struggling for something really worthwhile.

Think about it for yourself. What are you striving for that might take time, sweat, and maybe tears, but you will be grateful when you've done it? That one goal might change your life or just the process will make you a healthier, happier person. Going to the dentist is not fun, but I'm healthier for it and probably in the long run I will be happier.

Being Invisible

Want to try an interesting experiment? The next time you get together with friends, go out to a party, or attend a networking event try being invisible. It is really interesting and very easy to do. The way to become invisible at a gathering is to ask the first question of someone you meet, or someone you know. I've discovered that when I do that the person goes on and on about themselves and rarely asks me about how I am or what I am doing. There is little or no reciprocity. You can spend an entire evening listening to your friends and neighbors, business associates and new acquaintances and never say a word other than to ask the next question. Try it. You will be amazed at how quickly you can become invisible.

The art of conversation has been lost among the world of Twitter, Facebook, blogs and instant fame. It seems to be much more important to proclaim what we've done recently rather than dialogue about an issue or idea. Most current conversation are statements thrown up against, or in support of each other. But rarely are they elicited by a question, or and interaction. One person finishes speaking, or not, and the other jumps in with a statement of their own which may or may not have to anything to do with the topic at hand. We might as well be standing on opposite street corners posturing on our soap boxes and stating to the world what we believe, or what we've done.

The problem with this discourse is that is doesn't propel deep thinking, or generate new ideas. This type of discourse focuses more on "winning by sheer volume." Okay, not all conversation has to be deep or generate new ideas, but when was the last time you had a substantive conversation about a relevant topic where there was a give and take of ideas and everyone listened to and learned from each other? We all need a refresher course in the art of conversation.

So, try the experiment of being invisible. First of all, you will learn a lot. Listening to others is the quickest way to garner new ideas and perspectives. Second you can become aware of how little reciprocity there is in current dialogue. Hopefully it will create a desire in you to find meaningful dialogue during the week. Those dialogues lead to new insights, ideas and perspectives. And, at least you won't be invisible anymore.