Coming Off A Technology Fast

Two weeks ago I chose to go on a technology fast. No email, texting, Facebook, or even using my computer for two weeks. Did the fast radically change my life? No, but it helped put some things in perspective for me. More importantly, it provided time for me to rediscover some of the beauty of life I’ve been missing. So here are some things I learned.

1. There are very few things that are so urgent I have to respond immediately. Over the course of the two weeks very little changed in the world (of course I still read the paper on the weekend, remember newspapers?). The messages people left me would have normally elicited an almost instant response. Without my advice people took care of problems themselves or waited. Apparently the world did not come tumbling down if my voice was not heard, or my message received instantly.

2. Technology takes up a lot of time. I was stunned at the amount of time I had back in my day. But it makes sense. Between emails, texting, whatsapp, wordsfree, blogging, commenting on blogs and reading news on the internet, the day disappears. For two weeks I had time to do other things (but I’ll get to that in a minute). Still, it was almost disconcerting how much more time I had, especially in the evenings.

3. There is almost an unnatural draw toward electronic media. The first week I found myself passing my phone and just wanting to see who was trying to connect with me. My fingers itched to click on my emails. I purposely did not turn on my computer knowing I would be drawn to it, but it was really difficult not to do. Only the complete fasting from technology helped me perservere because otherwise I would have reconnected. I didn’t realize I was so connected.

4. Without electronic media to distract me I savor life more. I found myself lingering over meals, enjoying the taste of wines and watching waves without the demand to check my phone. By the second week the urge to pick up my phone diminished enough so that I could really relax (perhaps it was experiencing that the world had not come to an end). In the quiet of my day, life got louder.

5. I want to make a technology fast part of my life. I’ve determined that I want and need to fast from technology at least once a week. It makes life more enjoyable and allows me to fully experience it. Besides, it will all be there when I get back.

So now I’m back emailing, texting, blogging, and surfing. But now I know what life is like without my technology leash. Yes, I know technology makes things easier, but it also sets expectations, makes demands and takes over. But at least for two weeks I was set free. Now it’s up to me to find that time each day.

Do You Ever Want To Turn Everything Off?

I'm old enough to remember a time when people couldn't get to you 24/7. The phone in the kitchen (I don't remember if there was another in the house) rang seldom and if it rang during dinner they'd have to call back since we never answered during dinner. There wasn't voice mail either. Morning's were peaceful and routine as we prepared for work or school and at night once we came home it meant homework, reading and perhaps a little TV on one of the three channels. Now everything is different.

Are we better off? I wonder. Yesterday I warned a friend on the street to stop texting and walking (since he was about to walk directly into me). We stood and talked about how we were all getting addicted to our handheld devices. "They do everything" he exclaimed. Yet my thought was "they do everything except feed the soul."

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a luddite. I love being able to pull up a map that identifies my location and shows me where to go, or to text someone on the other side of the world, or look at a great picture a friend just took, or check the news or stock market. Great. So much information at my finger tips. And that's not counting the games!

In the gradual slide into the morass of technology addiction I lost some things. Yes, I can be in contact with all of my loved ones all the time. But am I really in touch? So for me it's become more important to take time to be at the same table and look my loved ones in the eye without interruption. Yet what I also miss is deeply hidden and more insidious. I miss free time. It doesn't exist for me anymore. I fill it up with checking my emails, texting, playing games, and checking it all over again. There is not a moment without technology, even in the bathroom.  Really.

One of the results of this technology addiction was brought home clearly to me yesterday. A man came into the store and bought my 2007 book of poetry, Bounding Down The Stairs. That was good enough, but he emailed me later in the day and wrote that he was really enjoying the book because the poems were "really good." That hit me hard.

Creativity needs time, lots of free time to think and imagine. It has been at least a year since I've written a poem. Oh, of course I've written articles and blogs, but creative writing is different. It requires me to be in a different space. That space does not allow for constant distractions, which technology is all about providing.

So, I'm going on a technology fast. Tonight I'm going on vacation for two weeks. On vacation I'm not going to text, tweet, blog (so you won't read me for a while), email, surf the internet (I intend to try real surfing) or play games. I want to be fully with the world and those around me.

Maybe two weeks will do it, maybe not. It's tough to change behaviors that are so much fun. Yet I miss the fun I had creating and writing. Perhaps, after the fast, I can create a balance. Until then I'm off the grid. Click.

Answer Your Cell Phone - Or Not

My cell phone rang the other day while I was in conversation with a friend. When I didn't reach for my phone he asked "aren't you going to answer that?" Not even glancing at the screen, I silenced the ring (though I thought I'd done that before we sat down) and I continued the conversation. He was visibly upset and distracted and finally we talked about it. He told me that it would have been okay if I answered the call because everybody does it. He was used to people answering texts, emails or calls in the middle of conversations and admitted that he did it too.

What struck me about the encounter was not the proper etiquette of conversation and cell phone use (about which I have strong opinions) but of the counterbalance of living in a culture while being free to make our own decisions. Society creates cultural norms of what is and is not acceptable behavior, dress, and speech and each generation pushes the boundary in their own way, while the other generations wring their hands at the decline of civilization evidenced by this bad behavior.

Yet all hand-wringing aside, we a choice. We can go along with the cultural norms or not. Currently some of our norms include our availability (because of technology) 24/7 to all of our friends and family. Some people expand that availability to their boss and co-workers. Have you even had it happen that someone sends you an email and when you don't respond they follow up with a text and then a call wondering if you are okay because you didn't immediately respond? I continue to have the experience of calling people only to have them say "can I call you back, I'm in a meeting?" Why did they pick up in the first place?

Cultural norms are not laws. They are common understandings between people. Currently the prevailing understanding is that we have to immediately respond to those who contact us. This immediacy continues whether we are at work, on vacation, or just trying to relax. People constantly tell me how much this demand for immediate response annoys them, yet they continue to indulge those who contact them. We have a choice.

Living in a society does not mean we have to go along with every fad, or even what the society decides is "normal" behavior (as long as we do what is legal). We can choose not to jump to answer every electronic message that comes our way and our friends and family will learn about our behavior and eventually have to respect it (probably not without some push-back). We can decide that weekends are ours and we will not answer emails from work. You might be thinking "not in my work." I guess I would say that from my experience, bosses can be trained, (so can co-workers) and if you are performing well, they will get used to it.

Choosing to push back against norms or fads is not easy. People will judge us as "old fashioned" and "out of touch." Yet, I'd rather determine my own actions rather than move toward every new way of doing things. It is the difference of swimming with purpose rather than being taken wherever the tides wills it. So if you call my cell phone and I don't answer. Don't worry, I'll get back to you eventually.