Put Your Sneakers By The Door

I'm a runner. Okay, really I'm just a jogger and I usually plod along. But I'm most days you will find me outside running three to five miles. My friends ask me how I do it, how I get the discipline to run every day. Honestly, that's easy. It's become a habit. I automatically lace up my sneakers (mostly in the morning) and trek out just because it's become part of my day. I don't often think about the health benefits, or the extra food I might be able to eat. Running is just part of me.

I'm also a writer. Well, not really. I'm a blogger, who has written a few articles, a couple of books and most recently a chapter about Positive Psychology and high performance teams. However my writing, unlike my running, comes in fits and starts. At times I have to force myself to sit down and write something, anything, just to get going. But unlike those writers who say they have to write every day I havent' gotten in the habit. Why? I haven't put my sneakers by the door.

No, I haven't lost my mind. I've heard that in running one of the toughest things to do is lace up your sneakers. I disagree. The toughest thing is to put them on. When you place them where you can't miss them they are a constant reminder that they want to be worn. When I first went back to running a few years ago I put my sneakers in a very visible place as a reminder every day. Now I don't need to do that.

But what about something else you want to do? Whether you are a writer, a parent, a professional and there is something you want to improve on, or at least work at every day you can create habits. The easiest way to create a habit is to develop a ritual that you do on a consistent basis.

I've not created a ritual for my writing. For those who follow me on this blog I you know I haven't written for about a month. Though I know I write best in the morning I always find myself reading the news first, or scrolling through my emails and the next thing I know the morning has disappeared. Even running can be a distraction from my writing. A fellow artist told me the other day that he wakes up and starts writing. No distractions, no checking email. He has created the time and the space where he immediately puts words to paper (or words to screen). That might work for me. I need a visual reminder of what I want. As I open my laptop in the morning, or unscrew the top of my fountain pen I can enter a world of words and get lost in them.

Putting your sneakers by the door is a ritual reminding you to put them on. Placing your laptop or pen in a quiet area and going there the same time every day is equally as ritualistic. What is your ritual to the next thing you wish to do?

Risk Being "Un-liked"

You may have noticed that I took a little time off from my blogging. Or, you may not have noticed at all. Actually I took time off from all of it; the writing, speaking, and pushing people to move toward unleashing their personal greatness. I was done. Or so I told myself. I'm really good at talking myself in and out of things. This time it worked. I talked myself out of doing what I love to do. And to be honest it wasn't that hard because I convinced myself that no one cared.

Now before you go thinking this is a pity party, it isn't. I'm quite capable of throwing my own party complete with streamers and balloons. And I'm content to enjoy the party by myself; it makes the pity that much easier. No, this is about an important realization for me and I hope for some of you.

What is it that you believe in enough to keep doing when no one is there? What are you so passionate about that when others walk away, you will keep doing it? That is possibly where you will find your personal greatness.

Over the past couple of months, after I stopped writing, I found I couldn't stop thinking about personal greatness. Even though I'd convinced myself that no one cared and it was ridiculous to waste my time on this. I thought I'd move on to other things only to find myself thinking about, reading about and talking about unleashing greatness.

Examining individuals who succeed in almost any field, they willingly pursue what is important to them even when no one else cares, no one is looking and no one is cheering them on. They can't stop. There is almost an irrational drive to pursue something. And this is what sets them apart.

We live in a world of "likes," "followers," and "friends" where we easily judge our work and our lives on how people respond to them. It is tempting to follow the voices. Yet, when you willingly toil on your own; when you believe it something so much that you risk the "un-like" of your friends and acquaintances  you just may have found what you are meant to bring to this world.

The Not-So Secret Tips of Accomplishing Tasks

There are things that need to get done in life and we admire those who accomplish them. The strategies they use are not secret, but there is good research as to why they work. Here are a few tips I've learned from the best.

1. Clarify your goal. The best "doers" I've met set crystal clear goals for the time they have so they know exactly what they want to get done. The clearer you are with your goals, the more you will accomplish.

2. Set a meeting with yourself. If you really need to accomplish a task, set aside some time to do that. And then, just as if you would in a meeting, turn off your handheld device and your emails. Research indicates that when you are working intently on something, a call or an email can distract your level of intensity for up to 15 minutes.

3. Work in 90 minute increments. The brain can only focus intently for about 90 minutes at a time. After that, with all the discipline in the world, you will find yourself distracted. Try working intently on something for 90 minutes, do something else for about 5 minutes and then go back to the more serious work. You will accomplish much more.

4. Focus on one thing at a time. In this hyper-paced society we believe we have to do three things at once. If you are honest with yourself, when you do three tasks simultaneously you do all three badly. Our brain is not capable of performing more than one complex task at a time. If you really want to get something done, just do that one thing.

The amusing part of these four steps is that most of us know them. We've heard them from various sources and can talk about them all day. Then why do most of us complain about getting nothing done and a small few get a lot accomplished? Because they actually do these steps and don't just talk about them. They "manage" their family, friends, associates, business colleagues and the rest of the world not to expect immediate responses but to know that everything will get done. And they practice the discipline of focusing for short bursts of time and then giving themselves a break.

That's how to get things done.

Routine Deserves Better Press

Do you want to get something done, or do you want to be spontaneous and innovative? As a writer, speaker and entrepreneur (and a researcher about achievement and greatness) I'm torn between creating routines and being spontaneous and creative. People who love being spontaneous tell us that they wait for the moment to strike and then they write all night, or create new work, or just get tons of things done. Other say that they have to dig in the same time each day and gradually get things done. Though I'd like to be thought of as spontaneous, creative and flexible I've learned to lean toward routine and I believe if you really want to accomplish something you should too.

Routine and ritual have gotten a bad name over the past few years. People pass them off as dull and boring, or even worse they call them the four letter word - "work." And we know what happens then, people can't wait to finish work and get to life. That's a topic for another time, but in short there is no dichotomy between life and work.  However back to ritual and routine. What ritual and routine develop, if embraced correctly, is a mental attitude and preparedness that allows you to engage in the process faster and be more productive.

I've  ritualized my day a little more lately and here is what I've discovered. Once I have my first cup of coffee and done some meditation my mind is ready to write because that's what I'm setting time aside to do. I find myself relaxing into the complex dynamic of putting words together early in the day. Recently, because of an upcoming deadline, I've been writing until noon. The more I do it, the faster I drop into the zone, words flow and I'm more productive.

Of course it is not spontaneous. It is not pretty and no one is going to make and indie film for Sundance based on someone doing the same thing for a few hours every day. But it works. Think about something you've longed to accomplish: painting a room, building a deck (not me), writing a book, or learning a language.
- Pick a time: if you start at the same time every day your body and mind will adjust and be prepared to dive in. You don't have to start exactly the second you choose, but close to it.
- Pick an amount of time: be reasonable. I can only write until noon right now because I'm not traveling.I normally write for one hour each morning. So decide on the amount of time you can spend each day on the task. If you allocate too much time you will give up quickly because there are other things to do.
- Just sit there. I've found that the discipline of just being in the space helps. When you first start, you may find that time drags, or you can't seem to start. Stay the full time. Eventually your mind will adjust and you will be productive in the time.
- Just start. I'm met so many people who've never been able to finish anything because they were always preparing. Sometimes you just have to write the first word, the first note, hammer the first nail, learn the first word and then you are off and running.

Ritual and routine need better press because it is within this framework that the most creative people work.  Every morning when I sit down to write, there are some days when my fingers fly on the keys, other days when I plod. But each day I'm always grateful for what I accomplished the day before. So, how about you? What do you want to accomplish? Time to set up the routine.

Coming Off A Technology Fast

Two weeks ago I chose to go on a technology fast. No email, texting, Facebook, or even using my computer for two weeks. Did the fast radically change my life? No, but it helped put some things in perspective for me. More importantly, it provided time for me to rediscover some of the beauty of life I’ve been missing. So here are some things I learned.

1. There are very few things that are so urgent I have to respond immediately. Over the course of the two weeks very little changed in the world (of course I still read the paper on the weekend, remember newspapers?). The messages people left me would have normally elicited an almost instant response. Without my advice people took care of problems themselves or waited. Apparently the world did not come tumbling down if my voice was not heard, or my message received instantly.

2. Technology takes up a lot of time. I was stunned at the amount of time I had back in my day. But it makes sense. Between emails, texting, whatsapp, wordsfree, blogging, commenting on blogs and reading news on the internet, the day disappears. For two weeks I had time to do other things (but I’ll get to that in a minute). Still, it was almost disconcerting how much more time I had, especially in the evenings.

3. There is almost an unnatural draw toward electronic media. The first week I found myself passing my phone and just wanting to see who was trying to connect with me. My fingers itched to click on my emails. I purposely did not turn on my computer knowing I would be drawn to it, but it was really difficult not to do. Only the complete fasting from technology helped me perservere because otherwise I would have reconnected. I didn’t realize I was so connected.

4. Without electronic media to distract me I savor life more. I found myself lingering over meals, enjoying the taste of wines and watching waves without the demand to check my phone. By the second week the urge to pick up my phone diminished enough so that I could really relax (perhaps it was experiencing that the world had not come to an end). In the quiet of my day, life got louder.

5. I want to make a technology fast part of my life. I’ve determined that I want and need to fast from technology at least once a week. It makes life more enjoyable and allows me to fully experience it. Besides, it will all be there when I get back.

So now I’m back emailing, texting, blogging, and surfing. But now I know what life is like without my technology leash. Yes, I know technology makes things easier, but it also sets expectations, makes demands and takes over. But at least for two weeks I was set free. Now it’s up to me to find that time each day.

Intensity Versus Consistency: What Wins?

At least one day a week, maybe two, a friend of mine goes to the gym and really works hard. I mean he goes all out in a spinning class, lifting or some other form of exercise. Yet he can't seem to understand why his shape does  not improve. I'm no fitness guru, but I've learned that consistency is more important than intensity for good  health. Though I've shared that nugget of info with him he still believes he can maintain his health on two intensive days a week. But there is a larger application of this pearl of wisdom and that is to any area of our own personal achievement or personal greatness.

Aristotle once said (or it was attributed to him) that "excellence is not an act, it is a habit." Whether or not Aristotle said this there is extreme wisdom in it. Whether applied to an Olympic athlete, a great musician, artist, or a good person, there is not one moment that defines them. They are defined by all of the struggle, work, sweat and consistency leading up to their own excellence.

People tell me all the time about the books they want to write, the trips they want to take, the goals they've set that they want to achieve and yet time goes by and nothing is done. The key is consistency. Do a little each day and your goal will be accomplished. Too many of us cringe at the daunting goal that we hope to achieve one day. Yet, it is the little goals, accomplished every day that lead to personal greatness.

So, what is your goal, or something on your "bucket list" that you hope to accomplish? What have you done about it today? That is the key. Then take time every day to add to what you are doing. Eventually you will  examine your goal and realize that you've attained it.

Examining my life, the only way I've accomplished anything is to consistently pursue it. If I waited for the right moment, or when I was "inspired" or when everything came together I'd get nothing done. Consistency is much more important than intensity.

What's Your Trigger?

Every morning, like clockwork, the first thing I do is pour myself a cup of coffee. It is so much a part of my morning ritual, I don't even have to make the coffee, it's on a timer so I have a hot cup ready for me  as I come downstairs. For those of us who enjoy our morning cup, we know it is the start of the day, the launch pad, the starting block and everything takes off from there. Medically, we know about the caffeine in coffee and how it stimulates the body, but there is something in the rhythm and ritual of that first cup that really starts my day.

Similarly all of us have our "caffeine" to get us started on projects, whether they are continuing or new. We use different ways to psyche ourselves up to dive back into a task, or begin something else. Perhaps we don't realize how valuable that knowledge is and how important it is toward achieving personal greatness. But being able to stimulate energy and drive when we need it is one of the keys to success in any endeavor. First we need to know what gets us going.

For decades scientists have studied the rituals and routines that athletes, actors, speakers, etc use to prepare for their craft.They develop these rituals prior to needing the extra jolt of energy to begin a task. Whether developed consciously or unconsciously science shows us that when these individuals start their ritual the mind and body prepare for what comes next. It is a "trigger" that stimulates a holistic response and helps the person fully focus on and attack their project.

What are your triggers? What do you do to prepare for a new project, recreate the energy for a long-running piece of work, or psyche yourself up for a short burst of productivity? By identifying your triggers, or creating them you can utilize them any time you need to engage in productive  and enjoyable work. You can even use them when the task is not as fulfilling. The important step is to know how to prepare yourself to be at your best.

Personally I've found the discipline of early morning works for me. With my coffee in hand, I meditate for a while, and then turn on my computer. I've found with this ritual it triggers my desire to write and I am ready by the time the computer boots up. Find your triggers or create new ones. This is a first step toward any success you want.

The Gift of Silence and Daydreaming

Nothing. My mind is blank. Sitting here in the early morning I sense, more than see, the sunrise dispelling the darkness of the room. Casually, almost gratefully, the shadows are expunged from corners and edges leading to a clarity that didn't exist a few minutes ago. But in my head there is no clarity, just gray. And that is just what I want in my early morning moment. There are few greater gifts to personal greatness than quiet, and there is no discipline so in danger of disappearing as silence.

Recent studies examine the trend away from periods of silence and contemplation and indicate that creativity falters if it is not fed on moments of idle daydreaming. Sadly we fail to value moments of silence and daydreaming believing that increased productivity and creativity will only happen by a dogged pursuit of the task and continuous input. That is mostly incorrect. For the brain to be at its most creative it needs down time, time to make connections on its own without our help. Creativity is a masterful blend of the conscious and subconscious brain, but if we never "sleep" on a idea, or never let ourselves daydream of possibilities we tend to recreate what we've already created instead of making breakthroughs.

It's not easy. I've found that sitting and allowing my mind to drift is a discipline I need to rekindle. My life has moved toward constant movement and productivity. My friends and family comment on the fact that I can't seem to sit still. And, yes, I've accomplished some good things, but I've neither been able to write creatively in almost two years, nor create unique opportunities to help others achieve personal greatness. I'm stuck in a "doing" rut. I want to get back into a discipline of doing and thinking about nothing again. So here are a few tips:

• turn off the "bells and whistles." Silence all of the noises and notifications that emanate from  your phone or computer. They are tremendously distracting. If necessary place them in another room where you can't hear them. 
• don't set out to think or not to think, just allow your mind to go anywhere. 
• do it at the same time every day. This helps me. My mind is ready to relax. 
•  allow your mind the gift of no judgments, corrections, or direction and see what path it takes. 
• sit back and watch what happens. 

I started daydreaming again at the beginning of the year. Already I'm aware of its effects. From newer ways to approach old topics, to ideas on how to change the world, my mind is exploring new galaxies. Frankly, I'm enjoying it and giving myself permission to explore further. 

Give yourself the gift of silence, you won't regret it. 

The Familiar is Seductive

The line "There's got to be a morning after" keeps running through my mind. This is one day after I committed to spend time allowing my creative mind to run free and then writing. Now it comes down to discipline. The challenge of embedding a new habit confronts all of us when we attempt to diet, exercise, work or play in a new and different way. After all, as my friend Jan says, the familiar is seductive. So we will have a tendency to revert to our old way of doing things.

First try doing new things, or embracing new habits in the morning. Research indicates that will power is like a muscle and it tires during the day as you use it. So, the easiest way to use your will power is to do something new earlier in the day if possible.

Second, make it easy. For me it begins as simply as not turning on my computer and becoming destracted. So, I won't sit at my desk first thing in the morning, but in a chair next to it. That allows me to unleash my mind for creative wanderings. You might find that placing sneakers next to your bed will help you run in the morning, or placing fruit in easy reach will help change your diet. Make the change as easy as possible to accomodate.

Third, don't be too hard on yourself. The key is consistency. If I only succeed in sitting for 10 minutes in the morning before I jump to something else, I will celebrate that I did something. The habit will develop if I keep doing it, not how many hours I keep at it. People have told me of their success at meditation because they were consistent at it, not because of the hours clocked.

What do you do that works to create new habits?

Get Creative

Have you recently seen something new and thought "I wish I'd thought of that?" Creativity or innovative thinking is one of the hallmarks of individuals who unleash their personal greatness. They are able to see new ideas where the rest of us see none. But there is a necessary discipline... we have to take time just to sit and think.

Now, before you immediately reply that you don't have time to just sit and create, think again. Having a moment when we allow our minds to do whatever they want, go wherever they want unleashes all of the creative thoughts we've been storing up. We've mostly fail to realize how valuable that is, and how precious.

So, I'm trying a new discipline. First thing every morning I'm just sitting. It's tough. The first week I tried it I almost always ended up on the internet reading the news. But now I enjoy allowing my mind the time to wander and wonder. Have I written the next best seller, created the newest app or solved world hunger? Not yet, but I'm finding that the creative juices are flowing again.

Try a few minutes a day. Let us all know how you do. And please let us know if you solve world hunger.

Donut or Not?

Okay, I read a lot of blogs. This morning I was reading a blog dissing mindfulness meditation. The writer dismissed mindfulness essentially because it made people too calm. Interesting. She proposed that people are more "human" when they get upset and explode. Aside from an apparently negative view of humanity, there was a more important point made when the writer acknowledged that she gave up on mindfulness because it was too hard. So perhaps it was easier to debase mindfulness rather than admit she could not commit to it.

Daily we are confronted with the choice to continue with our disciplines, new habits, exercise, or whatever we've committed to. Yep, sometimes it seems easier to just give in and give up. Currently some of the closest people around me have committed to a wellness regimen. They are eating healthy and exercising. Yet, the choice is constantly in front of them. Walking into Dunkin' Donuts this morning for coffee, one of my friends whispered "Maple frosted with sprinkles," sighed and then ordered just a cup of coffee. A choice, but a choice that has repercussions.

Research indicates that discipline in one area of our life affects other areas. When we take control of something small, it manifests itself in all we do. Though I've no research to back this up, I have to also believe the opposite; when I let discipline go in one area, it affects many other disciplines.

We create artificial moments to start anew; New Year's resolutions, Lent, a new job or an opportunity. We also use life tragedies and triumphs to promise new behavior: 9/11, the miracle on the Hudson, the birth of a child, marriage or death. The key is continuing the journey toward the new life. So the next time you are confronted with the choice of forgoing a discipline, promise, or resolution ask yourself two questions: Why go backwards? Do I really want to start this all over again? It's easier to pass up the donut, or continue with the meditating.