Risk Being "Un-liked"

You may have noticed that I took a little time off from my blogging. Or, you may not have noticed at all. Actually I took time off from all of it; the writing, speaking, and pushing people to move toward unleashing their personal greatness. I was done. Or so I told myself. I'm really good at talking myself in and out of things. This time it worked. I talked myself out of doing what I love to do. And to be honest it wasn't that hard because I convinced myself that no one cared.

Now before you go thinking this is a pity party, it isn't. I'm quite capable of throwing my own party complete with streamers and balloons. And I'm content to enjoy the party by myself; it makes the pity that much easier. No, this is about an important realization for me and I hope for some of you.

What is it that you believe in enough to keep doing when no one is there? What are you so passionate about that when others walk away, you will keep doing it? That is possibly where you will find your personal greatness.

Over the past couple of months, after I stopped writing, I found I couldn't stop thinking about personal greatness. Even though I'd convinced myself that no one cared and it was ridiculous to waste my time on this. I thought I'd move on to other things only to find myself thinking about, reading about and talking about unleashing greatness.

Examining individuals who succeed in almost any field, they willingly pursue what is important to them even when no one else cares, no one is looking and no one is cheering them on. They can't stop. There is almost an irrational drive to pursue something. And this is what sets them apart.

We live in a world of "likes," "followers," and "friends" where we easily judge our work and our lives on how people respond to them. It is tempting to follow the voices. Yet, when you willingly toil on your own; when you believe it something so much that you risk the "un-like" of your friends and acquaintances  you just may have found what you are meant to bring to this world.

Do You Have Greatness Blindness?

Do you think you’ve achieved personal greatness? Can you recall moments when you realized your personal greatness and utilized your resources and capabilities? The chances are good that you can’t. However most of us can easily point to others in our lives who have struggled through difficulty, helped someone in the face of adversity, or achieved personal milestones. We crown them as great individuals all the while demurring if someone returns the favor. Why, because we have a difficult time seeing personal greatness in ourselves.

I’ll admit that I came to this awareness while reading an interview of an author of a new book about courage. Robert Biswas-Diener just published The Courage Quotient and was interviewed by Lisa Samson. The interview is here if you wish to read it. http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/lisa-sansom/2012041621815    However in the course of the interview Diener referred to “courage blindness.” He stated that “We tend to write off our own history of bravery by saying, ‘Oh I just did what anyone would have done,’ or ‘If I were really brave, I would have…’ But these comparisons belittle valid acts of bravery.” I realized that Diener is right about courage and he is also right about personal greatness.

When most people think of personal greatness they think of heroic or famous people who have, against all odds, been tremendously successful. So personal greatness gets confiscated by those individuals history and the media have anointed. However the real definition of personal greatness is utilizing our resources and capabilities the best we can in the moment. That is how it is differentiated from historical greatness or fame. Each of us has different capabilities and talents and we have our own limitations. Yet we can choose to realize our full capabilities in different moments and transform those moments and possibly transform the lives of those who experience them. Our challenge is that we don’t think we are doing anything special.

This is greatness blindness. We don’t see nobility is our acts of compassion, courage in our assuming risks, or love in our assistance of others. We just assume “that’s what we do” or “that’s what anyone would do.” That’s not true. We bring our own talents and gifts to this world and have the opportunity to utilize them in every encounter. By not acknowledging them, we undermine the possibility of developing them.

That is the real tragedy of greatness blindness. By not seeing our own personal greatness we leave untapped the rich resources of unique talent we bring to life. We will forge ahead, perhaps emulating others, yet never fully optimizing our own personal gifts. Our contribution to everyone around us is less because we never fully mature in our own possibilities.

Perhaps there is a balance. Many of us worry about arrogance or pride, so we don't want to examine our gifts. Maybe if we see them clearly; see how underdeveloped they are and how much more we could do, maybe then we would work at developing them. 

Seeing your personal greatness is not about crowing aloud what you can do. It is intentionally acknowledging your capabilities to yourself and then working to develop your unique gifts.   

 

China: What Can We Learn From Them?

My recent trip to Beijing confirmed what I learned on my first trip last year. China is a country in search of a vision. She doesn't really know what she wants to be. My driver took me on unplanned routes past new empty factories and housing developments.  They were built to emphasize the new growth of China, but are not yet affordable to the people. He took me past the national museum with the brand new statue of Confucius outside and said that the government was reintroducing Confucius because communism was failing. Capitalism has been introduced, but regulated unevenly; at times with a heavy hand and other times the government looks away. China has built brand new internal airports only to have them sit empty and still they intend to build the largest airport in the world in Beijing. Where are they going? What are they trying to be?

Mao's Mausoleum

There is no doubt of the growth in China. They are moving at a very rapid pace toward new technologies and innovative ideas. Their new architecture is amazing by any city's standards. But once you look past the surface, the growth is uneven and haphazard. This is a country in search of a vision; they don't know who they want to be.

Individual, organizational and national growth depend on a few characteristics; the freedom to grow, innovative ideas, resources to develop those ideas, and a clear direction. China has all but the last characteristic. Their history illuminates the development from fiefdoms, to a powerful imperial dynasty, then a strong communist state, and now, well, not really anything.

Any of us can learn from their challenges. I've met with countless individuals who had the freedom, ideas, and resources to be amazing at whatever they chose. The challenge was that they never chose. I've struggled with that same challenge. When there are so many avenues to choose to try new things, it's difficult to pick one because you worry you will chose incorrectly, or leave a good road behind.

However the poison of indecision is far more insidious than we realize. Trapped in not choosing a direction, we wallow in perpetual mediocrity, or occasion triumphs only to sink back into uncertainty. To achieve our best, we need a direction.

Sometimes, for me, it is as simple as picking a direction I really believe I want my life to move and taking a few steps. I've learned that sometimes it becomes very clear, very quickly that it is the wrong direction and I can retrace my steps and head another way. But I've clarified my direction and eliminated a road for the future. That is worth the attempt. Sometimes I choose well and it feels like everything clicks into place as I move toward my vision.

Ask yourself: what's my vision for myself, or for my organization or family? Is it clear to me? Is it clear to others? Once you have identified your vision strive for it with everything you have because all your energies will be focused in the same direction and you will more likely succeed.