Choose Your Friends (and Family) Carefully

My parents always told me "choose your friends carefully." Of course they were worried about my reputation being sullied. (Funny that they never worried about that happening to my friends). But the choice of who we hang around is an important factor to how we react to life and it even affects our ability to think clearly.

Have you ever been around people who just constantly complain? Well, other than giving you a horrible headache it's bad for your health, your mental health that is. Apparently researchers have found that when you listen to too much negativity you are inclined to act that way. The negative stimuli acts on the brain which responds like a muscle. Fight it as much as you can, but after 30 minutes of complaining, you are much more likely to act the same way.

And it gets worse. What researchers also discovered is that when you listen to too much negativity it actually affects the hippocampus (the part of the brain necessary for problem solving) and it strips away neurons. So, after hearing all of the problems someone has, you are less equipped to help them.

Of course we have to care for people and that means listening to their problems. However, when the other person doesn't look for solutions, or all they do is complain the best thing you can do is either shut them up, or get away from them. Seriously, they are bad for your mental health.

So, after reading this research I didn't really believe it. Okay, I thought it was funny, but is it really true that negative stimuli affect the brain? Dr. Barbara Fredrickson and others published a study in 2010 that showed the negative spiral that occurs through depression and other psychologically negative states. Then based on neuroscience they created positive interventions of meditation and positive affect that reversed the negative spirals and created positive spirals.

This is where it comes down to choice. All of us can create a "family of choice." People who we like and who support us and provide positive affirmation. I know that there are some reading this who are thinking "but he doesn't understand, I'm stuck with ......" Hey, all of us have choices. Similar to choosing or not choosing that extra order of fries and affecting our health, this choice can affect our mental health and our behavior.

Surrounding yourself with individuals who are more positive, upbeat and are willing to listen only so long to a problem before they help you is one of the best things you can do for yourself. So, who are included in your "family of choice?" Don't let the "negative nellies" in.