Are You Happy? Who Cares

Today is United Nations World Happiness Day. UN World Happiness Day  I didn't know that until I logged into Facebook this morning and someone posted it on their timeline. I'm not a big fan of focusing on happiness (and I'll get to that) but having a day to bolster happiness throughout the world might be a good thing.

For me, happiness is a byproduct, not the goal. I'm happy when I help others, when I finish writing something I'm proud of, when I connect with my friends and family and hear they are okay. Happiness isn't something I directly seek, but it is an emotion that tells me I'm in a good place. The challenge is that happiness is so fleeting and subjective. I can be very happy one minute and then, after someone tells me bad news, I'm depressed. This doesn't seem to be an end goal worth focusing on, and studies show that individuals who focus on achieving happiness tend to be less happy than others.

So the answer is to shift the focus! Stop thinking about your own happiness. 

 Recently I was in Dunkin Donuts with my business partner, Jan. We take turns buying coffee and it was her turn. As the woman rang up our order Jan said "and I'll pay for his order too" indicating the guy behind us. What ensued after the shock was an immediate refusal to allow her to pay. Then he reluctantly accepted (we are very suspicious in the North East). And finally he got to a point where he was really happy and thanked Jan profusely. The people behind the counter were also incredulous. However, what surprised me more was how it affected my mood. I only witnessed the generosity, but for a few hours after that I felt very happy and blessed.

Here is where real happiness begins. When we help others, all the studies indicate, we are happier for a longer period of time and the happiness is more substantial. When we have purpose and meaning in our life and work (usually meaning we are contributing to something bigger than us) we are happier and more satisfied with life. When we are doing things for others and are not so self focused, we are happier.

Are you happy? Who cares? It's fleeting any way. However, ask yourself  "are the people around me safe, comfortable, and able to offer their best at what they do?" When you focus on them and help them enjoy the best life they can have, you will find yourself enjoying life more and you will be happier than you have ever been. So, perhaps there is a point to World Happiness Day, even if it's only buying someone else a cup of coffee and making them happy.