Recently we sat with the new core team of a very large non-profit. They want to change their organizational structure to a flexible, nimble environment that is innovative and open, so they flattened the organization, took away restrictions and told staff "be creative, be innovative" The result? Panic and paralysis for most of the staff except for a rare few. Why? The core team thought they were empowering the staff to be creative. Essentially they were abandoning the staff to uncertainty. The difference between empowerment and abandonment is important for anyone who is mentoring, leading, parenting or coaching someone else.
We see it all the time. Leaders, coaches, even parents want to help someone learn something new. So they gently nudge them to attempt the new skill, embrace the new behavior, or accept the "stretch" assignment. Then they sit back and watch. Usually the outcome is not what they expect. The person either freezes, turns in something they've done before, or botches it badly. The leader then reflects "well, I empowered them to get this done." Yet in reality they did not empower the other person as much as abandon them.
Abandonment is when we suggest that someone learn a new skill, or take on a new job and we don't provide the support they need. Working at Merrill Lynch in the 90's I was tasked with creating on-line training for our managers. With no training, poor materials, tight deadlines, and no support, I failed. And my boss said to me she was disappointed I wasn't able to achieve my "stretch" assignment. She thought she had empowered me when in fact she had abandoned me. So what are the necessary components for real empowerment?
Direction. There are some people who, with no direction, can decide what they want to achieve and move toward it. Most of us however need to have some idea of what we are trying to accomplish. It might be mastering a new skill, or attempting new work, but we need to have an idea of the end goal.
Training. Asking someone to try something new without providing some training is almost bound to fail. Anything that involves doing something you've never done before requires some education. It avoids the stumbling over simple mistakes and allows the person to have some security as they try something new.
Materials. Providing the proper equipment to help the person succeed is also essential. Tasked with creating online training, I was using an old computer that couldn't keep up with new software. It was laughable (well, I can look back now and laugh).
A Sounding Board. When people are attempting new work or risking themselves in a new venture, they need someone to talk to. Too often those who "abandon" them say "I don't need to hear from you until it's done." They don't realize that they are not setting the person free, they are inhibiting them because they can't dialogue about the challenges or successes.
Support. This is the most important difference between empowerment and abandonment. The fear of failure is a major factor that inhibits success. In order for someone to focus on something new and accept the risks, they need to know that they will be supported if it fails. Otherwise they will only hesitantly try new things while they protect themselves from the potential fall out. The sweetest words I heard from a manager giving me a stretch assignment was "Don't worry. I've got you covered." That's when I was set free.
Showing posts with label support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label support. Show all posts
Friday, June 1, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Failure is an Option (it's almost a necessity)
When was the last time you failed? I mean really fall-on-your-face failure where you go all out for something and it doesn't work. For most of us it's probably been a long time, perhaps never. We tend not to push the edge on many things citing security, family and reputation. Yet just the thought of failure is what keeps many of us from doing new and unique things with our lives. Paradoxically, when we willingly risk failure we have the greatest personal breakthroughs. So, how do we create a space in our lives where we can risk failure for the sake of uncovering new skills or having new experiences?
Know Your Reaction. It's important to recognize that we work against some pretty strong genetic wiring. We are not wired for uncertainty. Uncertainty, or new behavior could lead to death back in the stone age. Trying a new weapon against a predator might mean the ultimate failure if it didn't work. So our minds tend to see something uncertain or new as a threat and our typical reaction is fight, flight or freeze. Admitting our inner reaction to attempting something new is important so we can deal with that reaction.
Listen to Your Fear. We have responses because they help us. I use to love the "No Fear" shirts and logos, but I realize how stupid that is. Fear is necessary to make us think about what we are about to do. The important step is to understand if the fear is valid. A couple of years ago I had an opportunity to scuba dive off Maui. I was scared to death at first, but eventually I got over it and dove to below 80 feet. Yet there was good reason to be scared,... I'm not certified to scuba dive! I balanced that with the fact that I had a certified diver with me, so I took the plunge. But I had to balance out my fear first.
Put Your Fear In Perspective. Though I understand my fear of failure, it crops up almost every time I try a new venture, write a new book, or give a new speech. One of the disciplines that helps me is to put things in perspective. I'm not operating on someone, or risking my own life. I often say to myself when I'm attempting something new "No one is gonna die if this fails" (except maybe when I was scuba diving). It helps me laugh at my fear and move forward.
Get Some Support. Trying something new and risking failure is especially hard when you go it alone. It always helps to have support from those you love and trust. Talk it through with them and listen to their counsel. You may still have to go against what they say (sometimes our friends and family want to protect us from ourselves) but hopefully you still have their love and support should anything go wrong. I've found it's very important to me.
Mitigate the Damages. One of the most important lessons I've learned about risking failure is to mitigate the damage. Have a plan when to pull the plug on something you are attempting. When I quit Merrill Lynch in 2000 to build our consulting company I left behind a Vice President title and salary and all the security that brings. But I had put aside a year of earnings just in case the business failed. I also gave myself a timeline and assured my friends and family that if the consulting business did not succeed within that time frame I would return to a corporate environment. Thankfully that didn't happen, but it made the leap into entrepreneurship easier knowing I had a plan.
Nothing can take away fear of something new. As humans we will react when we attempt something we've never attempted before because our emotional brain is dealing with the unknown. Rather than letting this paralyze us, we need to monitor it and discipline ourselves to move forward. Personal greatness is not achieved by doing the same things over and over. It's time to risk something new. What are you up to?
Know Your Reaction. It's important to recognize that we work against some pretty strong genetic wiring. We are not wired for uncertainty. Uncertainty, or new behavior could lead to death back in the stone age. Trying a new weapon against a predator might mean the ultimate failure if it didn't work. So our minds tend to see something uncertain or new as a threat and our typical reaction is fight, flight or freeze. Admitting our inner reaction to attempting something new is important so we can deal with that reaction.
Listen to Your Fear. We have responses because they help us. I use to love the "No Fear" shirts and logos, but I realize how stupid that is. Fear is necessary to make us think about what we are about to do. The important step is to understand if the fear is valid. A couple of years ago I had an opportunity to scuba dive off Maui. I was scared to death at first, but eventually I got over it and dove to below 80 feet. Yet there was good reason to be scared,... I'm not certified to scuba dive! I balanced that with the fact that I had a certified diver with me, so I took the plunge. But I had to balance out my fear first.
Put Your Fear In Perspective. Though I understand my fear of failure, it crops up almost every time I try a new venture, write a new book, or give a new speech. One of the disciplines that helps me is to put things in perspective. I'm not operating on someone, or risking my own life. I often say to myself when I'm attempting something new "No one is gonna die if this fails" (except maybe when I was scuba diving). It helps me laugh at my fear and move forward.
Get Some Support. Trying something new and risking failure is especially hard when you go it alone. It always helps to have support from those you love and trust. Talk it through with them and listen to their counsel. You may still have to go against what they say (sometimes our friends and family want to protect us from ourselves) but hopefully you still have their love and support should anything go wrong. I've found it's very important to me.
Mitigate the Damages. One of the most important lessons I've learned about risking failure is to mitigate the damage. Have a plan when to pull the plug on something you are attempting. When I quit Merrill Lynch in 2000 to build our consulting company I left behind a Vice President title and salary and all the security that brings. But I had put aside a year of earnings just in case the business failed. I also gave myself a timeline and assured my friends and family that if the consulting business did not succeed within that time frame I would return to a corporate environment. Thankfully that didn't happen, but it made the leap into entrepreneurship easier knowing I had a plan.
Nothing can take away fear of something new. As humans we will react when we attempt something we've never attempted before because our emotional brain is dealing with the unknown. Rather than letting this paralyze us, we need to monitor it and discipline ourselves to move forward. Personal greatness is not achieved by doing the same things over and over. It's time to risk something new. What are you up to?
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