Are you sitting up straight? Are you standing erect? Sounds like some of the questions we were asked as children. Sometimes it was a command rather than a question. Yet over the past week I've found myself more aware than ever of my posture especially when things are difficult.
What started my consciousness was watching the PGA last week. I watched as Tiger Woods lost the lead and was walking down the center of one of the fairways. Even the commentator mentioned the confident way he held himself. You couldn't tell that he was losing. As a matter of fact you would have sworn that he was winning. What's with that?
Dr. Jim Loehr studied athletes winning and losing. He compared their posture and body language and discovered something different about the best. Those who were on the top of their sport comported themselves exactly the same whether they were winning or losing. They always walked like winners. What Dr. Loehr discovered is that our posture speaks volumes not only to others but to our own psyche as to our impending success or failure.
So, be honest. Do you walk like you are winning, or is your head always bowed? Pick your head up, walk like you are winning and watch the difference it will make in how you feel.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
A Grain of Salt
I write this flying back from Florida where I spoke at a leadership conference about focusing on strengths rather than on weaknesses to drive greater growth and success. The audience of 175 leaders interacted with me and each other, asking questions that only deepened their understanding. They laughed at the right spots, even applauded at a few and were vocally appreciative as they came up to me at the end of the almost four hour session. So what's bothering me? I want to know who, if any, will change their leadership style and why.
Change is not that easy. Listening to information, no matter how compelling, rarely engenders the motivation to change our behavior. Even if everyone in that room was convinced that this leadership style would help them dramatically (and I'm not that naïve) most will only retain a rapidly fading memory of our time together and will most likely forget me and the session in three days. But what about the precious few who, believing in the efficacy of a strengths-focused leadership model, read a little more, create some goals and start adopting new behaviors? What makes them different?
I'd like to offer a theory. These individuals are able to either lower the defense mechanisms we all put in place to defend our egos, or momentarily put their egos aside. Look at little children. They are sponges for learning. With little to defend they absorb everything around them. As we grow, we learn to defend what we've accepted as real and our openness to new ideas closes up until some of us get to the point when we stop learning.
Of course being totally open to new ideas creates other challenges. We might end up believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the tooth fairy. So, we do have to examine new ideas with a grain of salt. That being said, many of us use so much salt evaluating new ideas it is a wonder we don't die of sodium poisoning.
So what's the strategy? I don't know. If it were easy the world would be changing at a momentous pace because we'd all know how to identify and adopt new, helpful ideas and behaviors. I've found one strategy that works for me. When I learn a new idea or strategy that might help me develop as a speaker, leader, writer (I need lots of development) I don't tell anyone at first. I need time to analyze what I've heard, to sift through it and use my own grain of salt. That way, if I like and adopt the ideas, I'm more prepared to offer them to others in a cohesive way before they can bring on their shakers of salt.
175 leaders heard some new ideas this morning, ideas that could change their life or leadership for the better. How many will change? We will never know. But what about you and me? New thoughts, new ideas, new behaviors; what keeps you from embracing them and changing your life?
Change is not that easy. Listening to information, no matter how compelling, rarely engenders the motivation to change our behavior. Even if everyone in that room was convinced that this leadership style would help them dramatically (and I'm not that naïve) most will only retain a rapidly fading memory of our time together and will most likely forget me and the session in three days. But what about the precious few who, believing in the efficacy of a strengths-focused leadership model, read a little more, create some goals and start adopting new behaviors? What makes them different?
I'd like to offer a theory. These individuals are able to either lower the defense mechanisms we all put in place to defend our egos, or momentarily put their egos aside. Look at little children. They are sponges for learning. With little to defend they absorb everything around them. As we grow, we learn to defend what we've accepted as real and our openness to new ideas closes up until some of us get to the point when we stop learning.
Of course being totally open to new ideas creates other challenges. We might end up believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the tooth fairy. So, we do have to examine new ideas with a grain of salt. That being said, many of us use so much salt evaluating new ideas it is a wonder we don't die of sodium poisoning.
So what's the strategy? I don't know. If it were easy the world would be changing at a momentous pace because we'd all know how to identify and adopt new, helpful ideas and behaviors. I've found one strategy that works for me. When I learn a new idea or strategy that might help me develop as a speaker, leader, writer (I need lots of development) I don't tell anyone at first. I need time to analyze what I've heard, to sift through it and use my own grain of salt. That way, if I like and adopt the ideas, I'm more prepared to offer them to others in a cohesive way before they can bring on their shakers of salt.
175 leaders heard some new ideas this morning, ideas that could change their life or leadership for the better. How many will change? We will never know. But what about you and me? New thoughts, new ideas, new behaviors; what keeps you from embracing them and changing your life?
Friday, July 3, 2009
Everyone Has a Story
Everyone has a story. Our stories seek release. The compilation of a lifetime of truths, or the brilliant awakenings of youth, our stories are integral to our own awareness of self and essential for the growth of others. They are composed from the hard knocks of life and the moments of ecstasy. These stories shape us as we tell them or write them, chipping away at the unessential and leaving a masterful sculpting of who we are at our best and our worst.
We don't think much our stories, told at dinner tables, or more likely in the car at McDonalds. We glibly share the troubles, toils, and triumphs of the day, yet these words shape us and shape those around us. Leaving a story with an unfulfilled ending creates a tension in those who listen. Will it end well or not? Whether we realize it, our world view is captured in our telling of our story more than almost anything else we do. Do we see the world as a safe place, or one in which to be afraid? Most importantly, are there heroes and villains, reconciliation or revenge, peace or war? This is what our stories tell about us. This is what our stories teach our children.
The problem with our stories is that no one seems to care any more. If a story can't be condensed into 144 characters, it seems too long. Who listens? Do we even listen to ourselves? Letting others tell their story and also teaching them to listen helps us all unlock the secrets of life through the triumphs and tragedies, heroes and villains. The stories may not always have a happy ending, but they all speak the truth.
We don't think much our stories, told at dinner tables, or more likely in the car at McDonalds. We glibly share the troubles, toils, and triumphs of the day, yet these words shape us and shape those around us. Leaving a story with an unfulfilled ending creates a tension in those who listen. Will it end well or not? Whether we realize it, our world view is captured in our telling of our story more than almost anything else we do. Do we see the world as a safe place, or one in which to be afraid? Most importantly, are there heroes and villains, reconciliation or revenge, peace or war? This is what our stories tell about us. This is what our stories teach our children.
The problem with our stories is that no one seems to care any more. If a story can't be condensed into 144 characters, it seems too long. Who listens? Do we even listen to ourselves? Letting others tell their story and also teaching them to listen helps us all unlock the secrets of life through the triumphs and tragedies, heroes and villains. The stories may not always have a happy ending, but they all speak the truth.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Making Greatness Be Enough
The word "greatness" scares people. Heck, sometimes it frightens me. It is because we think of greatness mostly in the context of astounding feats, historic accomplishments and breath-taking acts of heroics. Yet in our daily lives greatness means using the gifts and talents we have to the best of our ability in any given moment. Recently I had an email exchange with a friend of mine. Nancy agreed that I could share her story and our exchange to highlight the daily reality of greatness. The email correspondence went like this.
Nancy: How do you get great when you're in a slump? The job, the home, the kids... greatness feels like a heavy lift.
Scott: Sometimes it's the little things. Find something you do really well (something small) and do it and succeed. It is a great energy booster. Sometimes greatness resides in getting through the day without killing someone, or losing your temper. We tend to think of it as everything going great. Sometimes it is surviving the difficult stuff.
Nancy: After a long and unproductive weekend (not to mention my 30th high school reunion – how did I get so old??), Tuesday back at work was dragging. Last night, after I read your message I initially thought – ugh, I’m not good at anything. Well, that can’t be true. In fact, I’m a great shopper! First I laughed, then I was telling my daughter about it and she said – you’re right, Mom, and I need shoes for the formal dance on Friday, let’s shop (she HATES shopping, probably switched at birth, but I digress). We had a really enjoyable visit and bought shoes and a dress for an upcoming event. Although I didn’t discover a cure for cancer or solve the world economic crisis, it sure meant the world to her. And I didn’t kill anyone AND I didn’t lose my temper. All in all a great night. Sometimes I guess we just need to re-define greatness. Tonight I plan on making a great dinner – and making that be enough.
My friends and family remind me constantly that greatness can be scary because most people can only focus on getting through the day. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I believe that most people want to get through their day in a way that is fulfilling, passionate and powerful. When I plant my feet on the floor in the morning and choose to pursue greatness each day I may not solve all of the world's problems, but I'm focused on using all of my gifts and abilities in the best way I can, even on the tough days and making that be enough.
Nancy: How do you get great when you're in a slump? The job, the home, the kids... greatness feels like a heavy lift.
Scott: Sometimes it's the little things. Find something you do really well (something small) and do it and succeed. It is a great energy booster. Sometimes greatness resides in getting through the day without killing someone, or losing your temper. We tend to think of it as everything going great. Sometimes it is surviving the difficult stuff.
Nancy: After a long and unproductive weekend (not to mention my 30th high school reunion – how did I get so old??), Tuesday back at work was dragging. Last night, after I read your message I initially thought – ugh, I’m not good at anything. Well, that can’t be true. In fact, I’m a great shopper! First I laughed, then I was telling my daughter about it and she said – you’re right, Mom, and I need shoes for the formal dance on Friday, let’s shop (she HATES shopping, probably switched at birth, but I digress). We had a really enjoyable visit and bought shoes and a dress for an upcoming event. Although I didn’t discover a cure for cancer or solve the world economic crisis, it sure meant the world to her. And I didn’t kill anyone AND I didn’t lose my temper. All in all a great night. Sometimes I guess we just need to re-define greatness. Tonight I plan on making a great dinner – and making that be enough.
My friends and family remind me constantly that greatness can be scary because most people can only focus on getting through the day. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I believe that most people want to get through their day in a way that is fulfilling, passionate and powerful. When I plant my feet on the floor in the morning and choose to pursue greatness each day I may not solve all of the world's problems, but I'm focused on using all of my gifts and abilities in the best way I can, even on the tough days and making that be enough.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Pull The Trigger
Recently we were invited to speak to a group of middle managers about greatness. The session was very interactive and informative concerning perceptions of greatness and what gets in the way of individuals pursuing their personal greatness. We noted how easy it was to identify why people won't pursue greatness. The discussion was lively and almost raucous as we listed all of the barriers. Then we asked another question. "What is it that encourages or triggers people to pursue greatness?" The silence was thunderous.
As we engaged the managers about what triggered some of them to be at their very best every day we eventually revealed a plethora of reasons. It seems that everyone had their personal trigger compelling them to seek greatness. So, we realize that one size does not fit all when it comes to encouraging greatness.
But think about it for a second. If you identify a moment you were at your very best, what was it that made you try so hard? Was it pride, desire, curiosity, stubbornness, or one of a host of triggers? If you can identify your personal trigger, you can employ it to help you be at your best everyday. Greatness is not a single action or pursuit, it is a lifestyle. Yet we all know that there are some days easier than others to continue the journey toward greatness.
Take the time to identify your trigger. Then, when you feel yourself flagging on the journey, pull the trigger.
Let us know what triggered you to pursue greatness, it might help others discover theirs.
As we engaged the managers about what triggered some of them to be at their very best every day we eventually revealed a plethora of reasons. It seems that everyone had their personal trigger compelling them to seek greatness. So, we realize that one size does not fit all when it comes to encouraging greatness.
But think about it for a second. If you identify a moment you were at your very best, what was it that made you try so hard? Was it pride, desire, curiosity, stubbornness, or one of a host of triggers? If you can identify your personal trigger, you can employ it to help you be at your best everyday. Greatness is not a single action or pursuit, it is a lifestyle. Yet we all know that there are some days easier than others to continue the journey toward greatness.
Take the time to identify your trigger. Then, when you feel yourself flagging on the journey, pull the trigger.
Let us know what triggered you to pursue greatness, it might help others discover theirs.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Seeing the Stumbling Blocks
If you could be happier, healthier, or pick whatever "er" you like, why wouldn't you do it? I've thought about this mystery quite a bit over the past few years. Faced with either insanity (doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results) and positive change, some people choose insanity. Why? I've got a few ideas, but I'd love to hear yours.
#1. S--t is warm. Though we might be up to our ears in it, we know what we are dealing with. We don't like the situation, but we don't know what would happen if we change it. So, perhaps fear of the unknown is greater than fear of the known (even if we don't like where we are).
#2. We are clueless. Interesting studies show that we tend to influence and be influenced by our friends. After a while this can create a group-think. So, if all of my friends willingly put up with mistreatment, ill health, bad habits, it is pretty natural that I will. Because this is the group I hang with, I might not have any idea that life can be different. I have no desire to change my behavior because I don't know there is another way to live.
#3. One is the loneliest number. Because we tend to surround ourselves with those who think and act similar to us we worry that if we change they will reject us. Actually that is pretty sound reasoning. Think about it. You change your behavior and you, by implication, suggest that others in your group do also. Traitor! Better we all go down together than risk the change. This is one of the main reasons that AA suggests to it's members to change their friends.
#4. No one else to blame. This I believe is the most powerful reason people choose not to embrace positive change. If I take control and change my life, I am fully responsible. There is no one else to blame if something doesn't work out. It is easier to just stay where I am and blame my situation or other people.
These are just a few ideas about why people might not embrace positive change, but they concern me. Helping people achieve their personal greatness is a passion and a quest. These are just some of the stumbling blocks. Perhaps if we can identify them, we can help get them out of the way. What other stumbling blocks have I missed?
#1. S--t is warm. Though we might be up to our ears in it, we know what we are dealing with. We don't like the situation, but we don't know what would happen if we change it. So, perhaps fear of the unknown is greater than fear of the known (even if we don't like where we are).
#2. We are clueless. Interesting studies show that we tend to influence and be influenced by our friends. After a while this can create a group-think. So, if all of my friends willingly put up with mistreatment, ill health, bad habits, it is pretty natural that I will. Because this is the group I hang with, I might not have any idea that life can be different. I have no desire to change my behavior because I don't know there is another way to live.
#3. One is the loneliest number. Because we tend to surround ourselves with those who think and act similar to us we worry that if we change they will reject us. Actually that is pretty sound reasoning. Think about it. You change your behavior and you, by implication, suggest that others in your group do also. Traitor! Better we all go down together than risk the change. This is one of the main reasons that AA suggests to it's members to change their friends.
#4. No one else to blame. This I believe is the most powerful reason people choose not to embrace positive change. If I take control and change my life, I am fully responsible. There is no one else to blame if something doesn't work out. It is easier to just stay where I am and blame my situation or other people.
These are just a few ideas about why people might not embrace positive change, but they concern me. Helping people achieve their personal greatness is a passion and a quest. These are just some of the stumbling blocks. Perhaps if we can identify them, we can help get them out of the way. What other stumbling blocks have I missed?
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The Product is You
I called a CEO of a large non-profit to check in and see how he was handling these tough times. Always interested in empowering his staff and creating a great work environment I wanted to see what he asking of his staff considering these tough times. He told me that he is asking them all to be entrepreneurs. "I want them to have the mindset that this is their business and to be looking for new and different ways to make money for the organization." He went on to share with me an example of an employee stepping up with a great new idea for generating revenue.
But he got me thinking about greatness and how we approach our lives. Okay, I'll ask you the question I was pondering myself: are you the owner, entrepreneur of your own life, or does someone else own it and you are working for them? Don't answer too quickly. There are those who are not living for themselves, making their own decisions, or changing anything. They are just getting by. If you want to be the owner of your own life there are a few things to consider.
Initially we have to develop a product. What we have to offer to the world is ourselves; we are our product. So, how unique is your product? Are you continually updating and refining your product? Is it the best product it can be, or have you settled for an average product?
The second step is marketing. Since you are your product, what do people see when they look at you? Are you presented in the best way possible? Is there something else that could maximize your marketability? What is your ad campaign, in other words, how do people learn about what you do?
The final step is fulfillment. When someone deals with your product (you) what do they experience? Is it always high quality, timely, excellent? Or is the product just mediocre?
So, if you make the choice to be a life entrepreneur, it's time to take a hard look. The product is you. How are sales going?
But he got me thinking about greatness and how we approach our lives. Okay, I'll ask you the question I was pondering myself: are you the owner, entrepreneur of your own life, or does someone else own it and you are working for them? Don't answer too quickly. There are those who are not living for themselves, making their own decisions, or changing anything. They are just getting by. If you want to be the owner of your own life there are a few things to consider.
Initially we have to develop a product. What we have to offer to the world is ourselves; we are our product. So, how unique is your product? Are you continually updating and refining your product? Is it the best product it can be, or have you settled for an average product?
The second step is marketing. Since you are your product, what do people see when they look at you? Are you presented in the best way possible? Is there something else that could maximize your marketability? What is your ad campaign, in other words, how do people learn about what you do?
The final step is fulfillment. When someone deals with your product (you) what do they experience? Is it always high quality, timely, excellent? Or is the product just mediocre?
So, if you make the choice to be a life entrepreneur, it's time to take a hard look. The product is you. How are sales going?
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