Try a New Experience

About a year ago I found  myself on the face of a shear rock wall 45 feet above the canyon floor. It was an old rock quarry and my friend Brendan had convinced me I had to try rock climbing. He strapped me in the harness and lowered me down into the quarry. My job, should I choose to accept it, was to climb back up the wall using the small cracks as finger and toe holds. Tom Cruise made this look a lot easier in one of the Mission Impossible movies. 

I learned a lot that day, especially how hard my heart can pound when my feet slip off the wall and I'm holding on by my finger tips. But the most important lesson that Brendan impressed on me was "use your legs." He taught me that too many novices try pulling themselves up the steep cliffs and tire very quickly. "Your legs are much stronger. Push yourself up the cliff." And he was right. 

People speak to me frequently about taking on new challenges and trying new things. I strongly encourage them to do so. Studies show that experiences create much longer lasting and more powerful memories than purchasing things for yourself or others. Instead of heading to the mall on a day off, think of something you'd like to try doing. It will leave a lasting impression. 

Yet, when I speak with people about their attempt at new experiences too often they believe they have to focus on skills they don't have and use them to get through the experience. What I learned on that wall is that, as much as possible, use some of your key skills to get you through new experiences. 

For example, two years ago I signed up for a sprint triathalon. It was a brand new experience for me and the training was very new. However, one of my key strengths is pig-headedness (I'm sure my classmates in Positive Psychology will wonder where this strength is listed). When I decide to do something, I will not give up until I've achieved my goal. So, though there were a bunch of new skills to learn, I just focused on what I do well, practicing everyday, and believed the skills would come into line. They did and it was a great experience.

Life is so short and precious. Why not fill it with new and different experiences to expand the story of your life? But when you do, remember, use the strengths you have developed to help get you there. It is worth the climb. 

Too Much Stuff

My brother used to have a bumper sticker on the back of his car "The one who dies with the most toys wins." That bumper sticker came to mind this week as I "de-cluttered" my house in preparation for sale. How did I get so much stuff? We've been working for about two weeks off and on trying to prepare for an open house and though everything is a little neater there is still too much. We're gonna need a big van to move out. Yet what really struck me is the time it takes to maintain all this stuff. Life was a lot simpler when I could fit everything I owned in the back of a car. 

Most of us spend our lives gathering. We collect the trinkets and mementos of long-ago friendships rather than maintaining the friendship. We store reminders from experiences we've had but have to spend time dusting them instead of having new experiences. And, of course, we purchase more so we can keep up with the neighbors when we've never had the neighbors over for dinner or a drink.

I'm not suggesting that we give everything away and live on the street. Yet there is significant research that suggests we are happier and feel greater well being from experiences rather than possessions. Excellent. When I think about the best memories I have, they aren't from a Christmas full of gifts. They are from moments with friends and loved ones. Even experiences of personal greatness, moments of success, or celebrations of someone else's success stick out in my mind as more memorable than all of the stuff. 

I want to redo the bumper sticker to read "The one who dies with the most toys still dies." Its a good reminder for me that I don't want to go to my grave carrying the heavy burden of all this stuff. I'd rather be carrying the lighter more important load of great memories from my time with others, or my experiences. 

Ah, but for right now, I have to get back to packing all of the stuff.