Are You One of Them?

TV fascinates me; not the shows, because they are mostly junk, but the commercials. Everything from the jingles, to the picture, and especially the message is designed to get us to buy things. Yet more insidious are the promises they make. They promise products that will make us smarter, stronger, more successful, extremely popular and, of course, better looking. They promise happiness and long life and if we listen closely, they promise that we will be remembered; they promise a legacy.

Of course we logically know that none of the products can deliver on these promises, but they seduce us anyway. Perhaps if I have the right suit, brightest teeth and use the right pen I can be successful. Maybe if I upgrade to the newest computer or software version I will finally be efficient so that I can do what I really want to do. Maybe if I’m seen in the right places looking fabulous I’ll be discovered. The possibilities are endless and they are sad.

There is no shortcut to personal greatness. Utilizing the best of your capabilities and resources involves practice (expertise takes approximately 10,000 hours to obtain). It requires focus, not the multimedia distractions most flesh is heir to. Personal greatness requires commitment, dedication and it’s sometimes a very lonely journey. Those are just some of the challenges awaiting anyone who really desires to explore their personal greatness.

So, why bother? Because as human beings we are primed for more than just going through the motions and slugging back a beer at the end of the day. From the time we are little, we desire to leave a mark, to make a difference on this planet, to “be” somebody. Then we hit “reality.” We learn the arduous task of success. We understand the pain of being ostracized when our ideas are different. We discover the unique challenge of standing out from the crowd. And so it becomes easier not to bother.

Yet there are those who want to make a difference, through their work, their discoveries, their gifts, and their personal greatness. Each day they renew their commitment to choose their unique path and they make the journey knowing the cost. Some people support them and enjoy being with them. Yet even supporters see these unique individuals as “lucky” or “different” because they do what they believe in and work toward it despite the challenges. 

So for those of you who choose to explore your personal greatness I don’t say “good luck” because I don’t believe in luck. Every person I’ve met who is unleashing their best has made the choices necessary to do so. I say to you “continued success.” You are an inspiration to all of us. Thank you. 

Go On, Rock the Boat!!

A few days ago I received a call from a manager I coached in the past. He wanted my advice on a work situation. He found himself with an opportunity to apply for a higher position in his current company, but was afraid of the negative reaction of his current boss (who is a bit unpredictable). Though he wanted the job and believed he had the credentials and experience to handle it, he was concerned about his unpredictable boss and didn't want to "rock the boat."

How many of us have been in similar situations where we were concerned about what others might think or do in reaction to our choice to move ahead or grow? When I ask audiences how many of them are conflict avoiders the majority usually raise their hands. Yet a more subtle challenge is that many of us are change avoiders. We love the regularity of our lives and willingly put up with some fairly untenable situations because we are unwilling to change. Sometimes we are uncertain about the future, but many times we know our growth will challenge our peers at work, or our relationship at home. So the old adage "s#*t is warm" applies since many of us willingly put up with bad situations because we are unwilling to face the uncertainty or the people who might be upset with the change. We are not willing to rock the boat.

Okay, let's face it, the only time a boat is not rocking is when it is in dry dock and not going anywhere. If you want to move forward, or move at all, the boat will rock. So given that, how do we create the best change we can?

First, identify where you want to go. This has to be a positive destination. I've consulted with people who want to escape a bad situation, but running away is not a direction. It helps when people can identify where they want to go.

Second, identify all the things that could get in your way as you move toward the new goal. These obstacles include your own internal challenges (fear, lack of confidence, etc) as well as people and situations that might challenge you. Don't try to fix any of these challenges, just identify them.

Third, envision your ultimate goal. What does it look like ideally? What will it feel like when you get there? Be as specific as possible.

Fourth, start moving toward your goal and KNOW that the boat will rock. But you will be moving and once you are moving toward a goal it is easier to deal with the obstacles along the way.

The manager who called me realized that his fear of rocking the boat was keeping him from moving toward what he knew he could do. He acknowledged that applying for the job might mean leaving the company if his supervisor got in the way, but ultimately realized he would be resigned to years of misery if he didn't make the move.

For many of us rocking the boat is not a pleasant idea. But if we examine our lives, most of us have rocked the boat in different ways every time we grew, succeeded and moved on. We did it, and we survived. So, go on. Rock the boat. You'll get somewhere.