In a fog?

Walking along the boardwalk last week in Asbury Park, NJ I was enveloped by a dense fog rolling off the ocean. At times I could not see 15 feet in front of me and then it would clear a bit. The fog altered my vision, changed my direction and hindered a direct path to where I wanted to go.

Though the fog off the ocean was beautiful it reminded me of how we can be caught up in a personal fog obscuring who we really are from ourselves. Great individuals have a clarity and frankness about who they are, what they've accomplished and what they have to do next. One of the inhibitors of personal to many of us is that we don't really have a clear view of ourselves.

For some of us our "self-portrait" has been created by what others have told us. Outside perspective and feedback is important, but people also tend to tell others what they "should" do and how they "must" act. Taking on those demands we can mistakenly alter our own focus and clarity of who we are and what we are called to do. Additionally we can be our own fog machine. Being overly optimistic about our skills and abilities can hinder rather than help us.

Being totally honest with ourselves about our skills and abilities is a step toward our personal greatness. Once we look clearly at ourselves we understand the assets we have and also the liabilities, the strengths and weaknesses. That is when we can plan and move forward.

A foggy beach can be a peaceful experience, but not a foggy self-awareness. If we are honest with ourselves, we will be more at peace and be better able to focus on where we want to be and what we need to get there.

Take a Break. Achieve Greatness

Labor Day is past and most of us have returned to our rapid pace lives. But some of us never stopped or even slowed down. Though we are approximately 23rd in the world in productivity the United States is first in the least amount of vacation taken. Yet I'll be the first to admit that it feels good to accomplish things, to work hard and see something at the end of the day. Just sitting around is not my idea of a good time. And people always challenge me that you won't get to greatness by relaxing. Well, we might want to rethink that idea. I know. It seems crazy to encourage people to find their greatness on one hand and tell them to relax on the other. There is a place for both. And, there is some good evidence that relaxing, even in small amounts, can change our productivity. There is an article in the June 2010 issue of Educational Psychology that highlights a very interesting study. With exams approaching, Günter Krampen, Ph.D. taught a group of students how to do a relaxation meditation. All of the students in each grade took the same exams and then were given 4 minutes to relax. At the end of the 4 minutes they could look over their writing one more time before handing it in. The group trained in relaxation mediation did better initially on the exam, but after using the 4 minutes for relaxation meditation, they made more corrections and better ones than those who were not taught relaxation meditation. Overall, they outperformed the control group significantly. The past few months have taught me something. I don't remember how to relax. Perhaps I knew it once, but I've forgotten it. Yet now, as I try to recover relaxation I am finding myself more productive, creative and less tense. So, getting to greatness by taking a break now and then... there's an idea to pursue.

Good Enough Is Not Enough

Two days ago I posted the following quote by Charles Kendall Adams on The Greatness Project Facebook page. "No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him or her: it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required, that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction." Yet we live in a society seemingly focused on delivering what is just good enough. Some people barely give what is expected of them, yet expect high praise or high pay in return.

For a moment think of those you've encountered in the past week who've gone over and above what they were supposed to do. Some of the waiters, delivery men, artisans, and professionals stand out in my memory because they didn't just offer what they were supposed to, they went above and beyond what was required.

Great individuals desire to pursue excellence and that desire drives them to outperform others rather than offer a mediocre service, product or effort. When you encounter them you are changed for the moment because you see the higher possibilities for yourself and everyone.

Perhaps the important question is how do people experience us? Do they experience someone who goes above and beyond and transforms the moment? I have found that when I give the extra effort in almost anything, whether or not someone notices, I feel the elation of giving it my best and not just giving up when it is good enough.

My Latest Article on Positive Psychology News Daily

Though I wrote about the motivation of a child, Edward Deci's research can easily be applied to yourself, or your company. Click on the link Moving From "I Must..." to "I Want To." for the article, or go to www.positivepsychologynews.com. Enjoy.

There's Got To Be a Morning After

Keeping healthy has been a life-long activity. But now that I'm 54 it takes on added importance and added challenge. I'm no olympic athlete, and not even a top amateur, but I'm consistent in my physical pursuits whether basketball, tennis, biking or running. What I've learned from great individuals is that they are consistent about practice and performance no matter what their area of focus. But sometimes it's just hard.

Yesterday I spent 7 hours cleaning out my basement. We rented a dumpster and loaded in all of the crap that had been left by the previous owners; doors, old wood, windows and much more. We filled the dumpster in one day! Okay, then comes this morning. Getting out of bed I could hardly move. I thought about running and thought "no way." But finally I put on my sneakers and said to myself, "at least go for a good walk." About halfway through the walk I felt limber enough that I started running. I was surprised at how good I felt afterward.

What I've learned is that if you want to be great, heck, if you even just want to be good, consistency matters. But what really helps is to do something, anything, that moves you toward whatever you want to be good at. And, let's face it, for all of us there are those mornings when we don't feel like doing anything. But you know what? Lace up the sneakers, pick up the pen, sit down at the piano and just start. Even doing a little will make you feel much better and you will be better for it.

Little "p" Passion

"Follow your passion." Isn't that the advice we hear from so many motivational speakers? Well, the research does support the fact that individuals who have Passion for what they do tend to outperform others. But how do we discover our Passion? I've found it's not as easy as it's made out to be. I keep waiting for some sort of sign, a billboard would be nice, that says "Scott, here is your Passion for your life." Then I'd be all set. What I believe is that we won't find it, we have to choose it. So, how do we go about choosing our life's Passion? Choose little passions.

All of us know what we love to do. Come on, with a little thought, everyone of us can think of something we love to to. What I believe is that we all have little "p" passions. These are things we love to do, but they aren't big enough to be our overall goal in life. However I think they can lead us to our life Passion. Choose one passion each day to focus on and see how your day changes. Today I'm focusing on enjoying each moment. It is a passion of mine though I'm not too good at it. But I find when I focus on this passion, I'm more motivated throughout my day. And it's telling me more about how I want to live my life. Maybe I'll find my big Passion. For today, the little passion is enough.

I've Got Some Bad News That is Good News

Last week I had the opportunity to co-facilitate a workshop on story-telling as a business strategy. It is amazing how people say they want feedback, but only with a certain focus. Though I try to maximize performance by the feedback I provide, I have finally learned that I've got to change my language so people will hear what they need to do to be successful.

In the session we started by training participants on how to create and tell the best business stories. Subsequently we trained them to be trainers in their respective regions. Within the process we required them to "teach back" what they had learned from us. As the "expert" they wanted me to give them feedback on how they did. I identified what they had done right and encouraged them to continue to do what they were doing. Their comment at the end of the day was "We wish we had more critical feedback."

Why do people only think that feedback is valuable if it is critical; not just critical, but negatively critical? The studies point to maximizing success by identifying what is going well, identifying why it is going well and making sure more of the success factors happen. All of that feedback is about good news. Yet it seems difficult to hear it. Our ears don't hear positive feedback as "critical" and yet it is critical to success. Just focusing on what is going wrong only promotes average behavior. The highest achievement comes from analyzing and maximizing successes.

So, two things have to happen. The first is that all of us, myself included, have to start hearing positive feedback as critical; it is critical to optimum success. As for me, and those of us asked to give feedback, I'm going to start telling people "This is critical. You're not doing enough of (fill this in with the successful behavior). Start doing it more." Maybe if I say the good news as bad news, they might listen to the feedback and do something different. Or not.