Other People Matter

A few years ago, while studying for my degree in positive psychology, Chris Peterson Ph.D. summarized some of the most important research of positive psychology by stating "other people matter." Honestly my reaction (quietly to myself) was "I'm paying for this kind of brilliance?" Yet Dr. Peterson's words keep coming back to me lately because it seems we are being inundated with examples of selfishness and greed that mask themselves as success. This is not what personal greatness is about.

Recently I've given up the practice of counting the cars with only one person in them driving in the HOV lane during rush hour on the New Jersey Turnpike. It really bothers me because it seems these people don't care about anyone else or care about the law, as long as they can get ahead. The broader applications are frightening. This Sunday there were more examples on a larger scale of selfishness and greed above the fold in the New York Times. The articles about JP Morgan Chase lying about their losses, high profile polluters basically walking away free, and drug companies, knowing their drugs kill and getting off with only a small fine. What happened to doing the right thing and caring about the greater community?

We live in a time when our American individualism seems to have taken steroids. It's all about the individual, the heck with what the larger society needs. Many people think, speak, and vote only for what it can do for them (or their wallet), not necessarily the great good of society.

What we need are more examples of people doing the right thing. When we've surveyed people about personal greatness they give us wonderful examples of individuals using all their skills and abilities. What we discovered is that in all their descriptions and definitions of personal greatness, none of them mentioned that the work or outcome usually was for the betterment of society, their community or their family. They assumed personal greatness helps others. We named it "The Assumption of Positive Affect."

It is time to look for examples of people helping others, of going the extra mile, of helping society at large. Because it's these examples that spur each of us on to do something as well. If all we see is greed and selfishness, there is a natural reaction to want to get our share before it runs out. But goodness and charity never run out. There is plenty to go around.

So, today I'm gonna focus on those people who are doing good for others. I want to see people use their skills and talents to help someone other than themselves. Why? Because the example will help me do the same. And in the long run the research shows that people who help and care about others have greater health and happiness. Perhaps I can get that on a sign in the HOV lane.

"Other People Matter"