Fly the Skies: Friendly or Not

At Newark Airport yesterday morning a group of us stepped up to the TSA pre-screened line. Having done the extra paperwork and having allowed the extra scrutiny by the government, I look forward to the shorter line. Yet, I noticed the agent turning away many of those who approached her. Confident that I had been vetted, I approached the agent and she scanned my ticket. “Nope” she cheerfully said, “you don’t have access.” Determinedly I scanned my boarding pass again, but did not hear the usual three beeps allowing access to the shorter line. As she pointed her finger to show me the way, I joined the other, much longer, line. Apparently the TSA occasionally refuses even those who are validly pre-screened as part of their security procedure. Yet what fascinated me was the palpable glee on the agent’s face as she denied access to many fliers. Most of the time she wouldn’t even look at them while she pointed to the end of the other line. As I watched she would sometimes wag her finger in the faces of some of the fliers telling them they were refused and their wait was about to become much longer.

Yesterday Newark Airport was a laboratory of emotion, self-esteem and personal interaction. Like most days for each of us, it offered the possibility of acceptance and rejection, success and failure, and control along with lack of control. But even more powerful was the glimpse into how most people are treated in life and how depersonalizing that is.

Watching the faces of individuals in the airport I saw anger, despair, helplessness and frustration. Rarely did I encounter people smiling or walking confidently. Yet as I thought about it, it is natural to react to what has become a threatening environment. Long lines are exacerbated by agents telling you very little news and yet demanding you stay in them. Everyone tries moving as efficiently as possible and become irritated when someone in front of them is too slow. And of course, there is the strip search.

What struck me is that, despite some excellent TSA agents (aside from the one at the pre-screen line) who were trying to help people and keep a smile on their face, the situation and the necessary security treats people in a very inhumane way. When that happens, people respond to the feeling of threat by fighting, fleeing or freezing.

What we need in life to make us feel human and special is easy.

·         Use names. Remember the sweetest sound to the human ear is the sound of their own name.

·         Smile occasionally. We live in a world where people smile less frequently, especially in new situations. We need others to smile and allow us to relax.

·         Create eye contact. There is nothing better for the soul than to know you’ve been acknowledged.

·         Treat others with respect. We are working our way through this world like everyone else. Give others the respect you deserve.

I’ve flown over a million miles and that is just on one airline. Traveling can be challenging, and it’s the perfect analogy for life. We are all going some destination. Either we can be concerned only about ourselves, or we can realize that everyone else is a traveler too. The traveling is much better when we all respect each other, mount the challenges together and then enjoy the ride.