How to Train Your Boss

If you haven’t read the latest Gallup results about workplace engagement, don’t. It’s depressing. According to Gallup 70% of the workers in this country are either out to get their company or minimally have mentally checked out. Only 30% are engaged and enjoy their jobs. More fascinating but not unexpected is the main reason for workplace discontent, the boss. According to the study what employees want from their bosses are three things: regular praise, opportunity for growth and involvement on how to improve whatever work they do. Well, if you have one of those bosses who fails in any one or all of these areas, here are some things you can do to train your boss.

1. Ask for praise. More specifically ask for feedback. If you really want to know how you are doing, ask on a regular basis. Most managers assume their employees know how they are doing which is why they don’t tell them. Also it’s uncomfortable for managers to give difficult feedback to people they don’t believe are receptive. After all, bosses are human. So make sure you ask what you are doing well (so you are praised, but more importantly so you can repeat it) and what you are not doing well. And be ready to listen to it.

When I was at Merrill Lynch I gave my manager a printed list at the end of the week of all I had accomplished (she didn’t do email). It gave her the opportunity to provide immediate feedback and I knew if I was on track or not.

2. Ask for opportunities. Assuming that your boss knows you want to try new opportunities at work is bad communication. Bosses can’t mind-read. If you want to try new assignments or growth opportunities, ask for them. And make sure the description, expectations, support, and final result are clear so that you will have the best opportunity to succeed. You also might come with suggestions of areas you want to explore. That way the boss doesn’t have to think it up.

Recently a support person on a financial team wanted to expand into the role of events planner. She suggested to her boss that a culinary experience might be fun for clients and beneficial to the team. So she volunteered to run it. When it was successful she became the event planner for the team, but without her suggesting it her boss would not have thought about it.

3. Suggest improvements. No one knows your job like you do. You probably know many ways your work can be improved to be more efficient, productive, etc. But all that brain power goes to waste if you don’t get your idea to your boss. So, if they don’t ask you how to improve your work or your job, suggest it to them. Start with how it will improve the work. When bosses see that something can be better they quickly realize what is in it for them. Then detail how and why your suggestion can be implemented. Finally suggest a trial run so that your boss can see the results. And remember, at the end of all this, if your idea is adopted, your boss will get most if not all of the credit, but she/he will understand where the idea came from and your will have bettered your workplace.

I worked with a team that struggled to meet it’s goals, everyone was on edge and not a lot was getting done. One of the newer members of the team suggested a reorganization of the work based on people’s strengths. She convinced the boss to try it. After the initial test they found that both their productivity and morale soared. The bonus was that the boss gave her all the credit.

4. Praise your boss. This is the most important discipline of all. When your boss does something right, thank her/him. If they have a particularly efficient meeting, tell them what was so good about it and thank them for running it that way. If they praise you, thank them and tell them how much it meant to you. If they give you good feedback, thank them and tell them why the feedback was so good. The reason is that, like all of us, bosses like to do things right and most likely aren’t hearing anything from their own boss. When you thank them for what they did well, they are much more likely to repeat it.

I’ve always believed that people need to take control of their own lives. In the workplace we are very much at the mercy of our bosses. Yet they are not always the villain. Many times they are being pushed, prodded and driven from multiple directions at once and are overwhelmed. They also need to be trained on how to deal specifically with you. Teach them. Help them to be the boss you need them to be by following these four simple disciplines. They will be better for it and you will be happier and more engaged.

Do You Have a Deviance Support Group?

"Excellence is a form of deviance." This quote from Robert Quinn's book Deep Change resonated powerfully and personally with me. Within the short sentence is important wisdom for anyone who strives toward their own personal greatness. Why? Because as Quinn says, when you choose to be your best, when you choose to do things that others are unwilling to do, to go the extra mile, you will stand out in any community, team, organization or family. You will be deviant.

Speaking about personal greatness around the country, I always raise this question of stepping out of the norm. What happens to people who are different because they are pursuing their personal greatness? Many words will be offered and sadly most of them reveal the negative side of being different. The one word that consistently arises when speaking about striving for personal greatness and being different is that we become a "target." I'm told "people will come after you," "they will try to find out what's wrong with you," and "they will try to level the playing field."

One of the key factors in personal greatness is the willingness, legally and ethically, to do what others are not willing to do. This deviance might mean spending extra time in practice, working on a new skill, pushing yourself to a new level in your expertise, or just living every moment with incredible energy and passion. It is this deviance that others and systems try to quell.

Prepare for the reality that if we choose to work toward unleashing our gifts and talents, there are those who will resent us, those who will envy us, and the system itself (society, organization or family) will attempt to pull us back into the norm. This is why individuals striving for personal greatness tend to find each other and create supportive communities. History reveals the bonding of great writers, scientists, thinkers etc who supported each other in moving toward new heights in their fields. Whether our focus is being the best employee or spouse we can be, or discovering a cure for cancer, the same need is present - we need a supportive community.

Who do you have who supports your positive deviance? Who is present in your life and encourages you to continue taking steps that differentiate you from the norm? These are the people who need to be present along the way as you all strive for your personal greatness.

China: What Can We Learn From Them?

My recent trip to Beijing confirmed what I learned on my first trip last year. China is a country in search of a vision. She doesn't really know what she wants to be. My driver took me on unplanned routes past new empty factories and housing developments.  They were built to emphasize the new growth of China, but are not yet affordable to the people. He took me past the national museum with the brand new statue of Confucius outside and said that the government was reintroducing Confucius because communism was failing. Capitalism has been introduced, but regulated unevenly; at times with a heavy hand and other times the government looks away. China has built brand new internal airports only to have them sit empty and still they intend to build the largest airport in the world in Beijing. Where are they going? What are they trying to be?

Mao's Mausoleum

There is no doubt of the growth in China. They are moving at a very rapid pace toward new technologies and innovative ideas. Their new architecture is amazing by any city's standards. But once you look past the surface, the growth is uneven and haphazard. This is a country in search of a vision; they don't know who they want to be.

Individual, organizational and national growth depend on a few characteristics; the freedom to grow, innovative ideas, resources to develop those ideas, and a clear direction. China has all but the last characteristic. Their history illuminates the development from fiefdoms, to a powerful imperial dynasty, then a strong communist state, and now, well, not really anything.

Any of us can learn from their challenges. I've met with countless individuals who had the freedom, ideas, and resources to be amazing at whatever they chose. The challenge was that they never chose. I've struggled with that same challenge. When there are so many avenues to choose to try new things, it's difficult to pick one because you worry you will chose incorrectly, or leave a good road behind.

However the poison of indecision is far more insidious than we realize. Trapped in not choosing a direction, we wallow in perpetual mediocrity, or occasion triumphs only to sink back into uncertainty. To achieve our best, we need a direction.

Sometimes, for me, it is as simple as picking a direction I really believe I want my life to move and taking a few steps. I've learned that sometimes it becomes very clear, very quickly that it is the wrong direction and I can retrace my steps and head another way. But I've clarified my direction and eliminated a road for the future. That is worth the attempt. Sometimes I choose well and it feels like everything clicks into place as I move toward my vision.

Ask yourself: what's my vision for myself, or for my organization or family? Is it clear to me? Is it clear to others? Once you have identified your vision strive for it with everything you have because all your energies will be focused in the same direction and you will more likely succeed.

Spring Awakening

Yesterday was beautiful in New Jersey. Though there were strong winds, the smell of spring spiraled through the air, the daffodils pushed up through the soil and the sun was strong. It's early for Spring, but it is always welcome. As I saw the world coming to life again, I reflected on moments of new growth for all of us.

As I travel and work around the world I'm struck that many adults seem to be just going through the motions. There is little evidence of life and energy left in us. Walking through the major cities in the world most adults walk with their heads down, eyes on the pavement, seemingly lost on some serious intent, but looking bored or angry. And yet there are those who catch my eye with their energy, smile and passion. They draw me like a bee to honey. Why are they so energetic?

All of us have times of exhaustion when we move from day to day in a fog just getting through. Yet for some it's become a lifestyle for many of us. I find myself occasionally sinking into the tepidness of routine, but I'm enamoured by those who have so much energy. What I'm learning is that they have found what they love to do, they do it with passion and they are so in love with their life they are not afraid to express their passion.

These individuals who exude all of this energy don't seem to run out. Energy grows even as they display it in all they do. And it's not just extroverted people who do this. Even introverts who love what they do glow with an inner radiance. So, if like me you find yourself not being the energetic person you want to be, just reexamine your life. Find something you love to do. Whether it is part of your work, your personal life, your art, awaken yourself to passion and joy. You will be amazed what transformation takes place in all of the other areas in your life. Additionally, you will surprise those around you also. Now is the time for a spring awakening.

Baseball and Mental Models

Last night I finally saw the movie "Money Ball." Briefly the movie is about a baseball manager who learns to think about baseball differently than just getting superstars on the field, and his new ideas, though successful, are  tossed aside by many people. But it is about more than just baseball, it is about greatness. At one point the general manager, Billy Beane, says to his managers "innovate or die." Well, it's not quite as drastic as that, but many times in order to succeed, we have to change and it is not easy.

Many of us attain a level of success in our endeavors by doing what has always been done in our field, whether its art, science, athletics, literature, etc. However we can become stuck in our way of doing things by falling into the trap of believing there is no other way to achieve success. We become wedded to our "mental models." Mental models is a concept promoted by Kenneth Craik in the 1940's which held that we create our own mental models of how the world works, how we interact with others, how we do business etc., through our experiences. These models contain our belief of how things should proceed in our world. However mental models can become outdated. The famous quote that "everything that can be invented, has been invented" was stated just before the industrial revolution. Wow, talk about a wrong mental model.

The importance of mental models is primarily recognizing our own and occasionally challenging them. Breaking through to a new level rarely occurs by doing the same thing. In order for the breakthrough to occur, you have to do something different, or examine your worldview  and choose to see things differently. That takes discipline and courage.

In Money Ball, Billy Beane learns to view the world of major league baseball in a totally different way. He encounters a lot of opposition, because he is also challenging the mental model of others, but succeeds in changing the way the business is perceived. What mental model do you need to challenge?

Go On, Rock the Boat!!

A few days ago I received a call from a manager I coached in the past. He wanted my advice on a work situation. He found himself with an opportunity to apply for a higher position in his current company, but was afraid of the negative reaction of his current boss (who is a bit unpredictable). Though he wanted the job and believed he had the credentials and experience to handle it, he was concerned about his unpredictable boss and didn't want to "rock the boat."

How many of us have been in similar situations where we were concerned about what others might think or do in reaction to our choice to move ahead or grow? When I ask audiences how many of them are conflict avoiders the majority usually raise their hands. Yet a more subtle challenge is that many of us are change avoiders. We love the regularity of our lives and willingly put up with some fairly untenable situations because we are unwilling to change. Sometimes we are uncertain about the future, but many times we know our growth will challenge our peers at work, or our relationship at home. So the old adage "s#*t is warm" applies since many of us willingly put up with bad situations because we are unwilling to face the uncertainty or the people who might be upset with the change. We are not willing to rock the boat.

Okay, let's face it, the only time a boat is not rocking is when it is in dry dock and not going anywhere. If you want to move forward, or move at all, the boat will rock. So given that, how do we create the best change we can?

First, identify where you want to go. This has to be a positive destination. I've consulted with people who want to escape a bad situation, but running away is not a direction. It helps when people can identify where they want to go.

Second, identify all the things that could get in your way as you move toward the new goal. These obstacles include your own internal challenges (fear, lack of confidence, etc) as well as people and situations that might challenge you. Don't try to fix any of these challenges, just identify them.

Third, envision your ultimate goal. What does it look like ideally? What will it feel like when you get there? Be as specific as possible.

Fourth, start moving toward your goal and KNOW that the boat will rock. But you will be moving and once you are moving toward a goal it is easier to deal with the obstacles along the way.

The manager who called me realized that his fear of rocking the boat was keeping him from moving toward what he knew he could do. He acknowledged that applying for the job might mean leaving the company if his supervisor got in the way, but ultimately realized he would be resigned to years of misery if he didn't make the move.

For many of us rocking the boat is not a pleasant idea. But if we examine our lives, most of us have rocked the boat in different ways every time we grew, succeeded and moved on. We did it, and we survived. So, go on. Rock the boat. You'll get somewhere.