Stop Waiting: Launch and Learn

Recently I've noticed an interesting phenomenon that occurs when a group of people are gathered waiting for something such as an airplane, subway, elevator, etc. If someone pulls out their blackberry, phone, or iphone, other people do also. Though I've no research to cite, it seems that people just want to show others that they are important and busy. Instead of just waiting, they seem to want to show that they have people to call, emails to read and texts to send. Many of them, if you look closely are just playing games. Yet the important part of all these actions are to "look busy."

However the reality for many people is that though they are busy "looking busy" they are actually waiting for something to occur. When I ask people what hinders them from pursuing dreams, living fully, having enriching relationships, most of the time the answers involve waiting for something to occur or someone to do something. They give me very valid reasons that they will start something, but they are waiting "until I have time," "when I have more money," "when the kids are out of school," "when the kids are in school" and the list goes on and on. I also catch myself waiting for the "right time" to launch new ventures. But what are we really waiting for?

Though I believe in being prepared, I personally know that sometimes waiting is my excuse not to start. I rationalize what I need to begin a project, for example, and then wait until whatever I need magically appears. Sometimes the waiting has taken years. It's time to be honest with ourselves.

Successful individuals who have vibrant, exciting lives are not waiting for others to make life exciting. They choose to do so. Individuals who start new ventures, or personal projects and succeed often do it in the face of small resources, lack of support and little time, yet they succeed anyway. Perhaps we are waiting for the right time because we want it to be perfect. It won't be! Perfect doesn't exist. So with any venture the key is "launch and learn" i.e., start something and learn as you go.

Waiting is the perfect excuse, even when we claim we are too busy. But what are we really waiting for? It will never be the perfect time, perfect person, perfect idea. Launch into it and learn as you go. There is really nothing more exciting than to be in the middle of doing something you enjoy. And you can really have something to do rather than stand around fingering your mobile device.

No Apologies, No Excuses, No Second Chance

Years ago, while playing basketball, I had an important realization. I apologized constantly. I apologized for bad passes,errant shots and missed opportunities. Worse than that, I also realized I apologized when someone else would make a mistake by telling them that it really was my fault. When I wasn't apologizing I found myself making excuses for poor play. I was tired. My foot hurt. I sprained my finger. The day I realized my behavior I felt sick. This was not the person I wanted to be. So, I adopted a mantra for myself and how I would play on the basketball court, "No apologies, no excuses, no second chance." Let me briefly explain. "No apologies." Apologies are often empty words that are thrown around after someone is caught, or in my case a distorted belief that I wasn't supposed to make mistakes, or miss. Yes, occasionally apologies have to be made, but what is more important is changing behavior. Nothing says I'm sorry like changing my behavior and doing something different. So, I put aside apologizing all the time and moved on to changing behavior. "No excuses." When I step on to a basketball court, I step on to play. No one cares if I am tired, hurt, or distracted. They just want me to play the best basketball I can or get off the court. "No second chance." Many times the places I play basketball there are teams waiting to get on the court. Once you lose, you may as well go home. There is no second chance, so I've learned to put it all out on the court. Years later I realize that this mantra applies to life. So many of us spend too much time apologizing for what we've done instead of making up and moving on. We all make mistakes, but we are by no means the sum of our mistakes. Sometimes the best gift we can give to ourselves is to unlock the chains with which we bind ourselves and let us go free. So too excuses. I've got a million of them. Reasons why I can't write my next book, or be the speaker I want to be. No one cares, and the only person I'm excusing is myself. And finally, there is no second chance. This is it. Every moment of every day we choose how our lives will unfold. If we are waiting for something to happen it has probably passed us by. "Life- no apologies, no excuses, no second chance."