Rewiring the Brain: A Moving Experience

First let me state that I'm no brain scientist. Yep, that's clear. Yet I'm fascinated with the recent focus in brain theory on the neuroplasticity of the brain. Apparently what scientists have discovered is that even into our old age, we can rewire the brain. We can keep learning. The challenge (of course there is a challenge) is that it's not easy. Recently I've discovered a way to keep my brain fresh, to learn new things and to challenge myself. I'm moving.

After 15 years living of in our first home we are moving to a new home. Aside from the emotional attachment to this house and all of the memories it holds, I realized that now I have to think. Because when you've lived in a space for 15 years or more everything becomes a habit and you don't have to think about it. Up until a few days ago I could walk through this house blindfolded and not hit a thing. I knew every nook and cranny, where things were on dresser tops, or where things hung in closets. But now that we've moved some of the furniture out, boxed up some of the items and brought at least half my wardrobe to the new house, I can't run on habit any more.

So what does this have to do with brain science? The enemy of neuroplasticity as I see it are habits. Habits are ingrained ways of thinking and acting that create a neurological pathway in the brain and eventually become "neuro-cement" making other neuro-pathways more difficult. For example, once the neuro-pathways for language are embedded in our brain it is much easier for the brain to default to our "first" language than to struggle with a second or third (that's why my Spanish is so bad). The other challenge is that habits also have the positive effect of making everything simpler and more efficient. When I don't have to think about where my tie is, or where the best Chinese food is then I can use my brain for other things. But we can allow our habits to become so ingrained that it becomes more and more difficult for our brain to be flexible.

Moving forces the brain to think and rewire. As we move things into the new house I'm rethinking my habits. How will I get coffee in the morning? Where will I write? How will our routines change as a result of living in a three-story house? All of these questions and more challenge my brain to rewrite scripts that I've ignored over the past 15 years. Even the neighborhood and surrounding city is different so I have to think about where to get food and what areas might not be as safe as others.

Rewiring the brain is not easy. The brain likes to default to the most well-used neuro-pathway. However when you want to change a habit or learn something new I'm finding that there is no better way than to give the brain no choice. I can't live in the new house the way I've lived here, so my brain has to change. So, perhaps you don't have to move, but if you want to develop or learn something new try giving yourself no choice. The brain will adapt faster than you think.

The Not-So Secret Tips of Accomplishing Tasks

There are things that need to get done in life and we admire those who accomplish them. The strategies they use are not secret, but there is good research as to why they work. Here are a few tips I've learned from the best.

1. Clarify your goal. The best "doers" I've met set crystal clear goals for the time they have so they know exactly what they want to get done. The clearer you are with your goals, the more you will accomplish.

2. Set a meeting with yourself. If you really need to accomplish a task, set aside some time to do that. And then, just as if you would in a meeting, turn off your handheld device and your emails. Research indicates that when you are working intently on something, a call or an email can distract your level of intensity for up to 15 minutes.

3. Work in 90 minute increments. The brain can only focus intently for about 90 minutes at a time. After that, with all the discipline in the world, you will find yourself distracted. Try working intently on something for 90 minutes, do something else for about 5 minutes and then go back to the more serious work. You will accomplish much more.

4. Focus on one thing at a time. In this hyper-paced society we believe we have to do three things at once. If you are honest with yourself, when you do three tasks simultaneously you do all three badly. Our brain is not capable of performing more than one complex task at a time. If you really want to get something done, just do that one thing.

The amusing part of these four steps is that most of us know them. We've heard them from various sources and can talk about them all day. Then why do most of us complain about getting nothing done and a small few get a lot accomplished? Because they actually do these steps and don't just talk about them. They "manage" their family, friends, associates, business colleagues and the rest of the world not to expect immediate responses but to know that everything will get done. And they practice the discipline of focusing for short bursts of time and then giving themselves a break.

That's how to get things done.

Want to Change the World? You Just Might Have

As I readied to begin, standing in front of a group of leaders in Tokyo, I realized I had a small window of time in which to connect positively or negatively. I greeted them in Japanese, wishing them a “good morning.”  After a moment’s pause I apologized, in English, and said “that’s  all the Japanese I know.” Smiles spread throughout the group and a few said, in English, “that’s okay.” The rest of the session was very positively received because of the contagion of smiles and vulnerability.

I bring this up after hearing Nicolas Christakis speak at the recent Positive Psychology Summit in Philadelphia. He said something profound that all of us need to consider as we interact with family, friends and our wider network. And if we really want to change the world for good this is essential. He said “networks magnify whatever they are seeded with.”

Whether it’s the first time in front of audience (like I was) or an intact family, or your network of friends the information, choices and even more important, the emotion we foist on our network impacts the entire group. A person’s attitudes, decisions and actions are based on the attitudes, decisions and actions of the people around them to the third degree of separation. If you think about it, with this information a random act of kindness isn’t so random once it affects your network.

What is so fascinating about Christakis’ research is that kindness and happiness spread to the third degree of separation in a network but meanness didn’t spread. You might be as surprised by that as I was. We hear so much about meanness, bullying, conflict, and war that it seems we are worse than ever. Yet the latest global research indicates that there is less conflict than ever in history. We just hear about it more.

So what does this mean? If we begin seeding our networks with kindness and goodness it will spread. But what about personal greatness? What about striving for our personal best every day? Will that also spread to the third degree of separation in our networks? I don't know since the research has not yet been done. yet I suspect that if kindness and happiness can spread so can striving for our best. If networks magnify that with which they are seeded perhaps we can unleash a movement toward a world where everyone can unleash their personal greatness. And the easy part is that it all starts by the way we treat the person next to us. 

Storm Surge: A Reality Check

Standing in front of these leaders in Tokyo all of a sudden means nothing to me. These leaders worry about delivering their quarterly goals or hitting their budget, while I'm worrying about the lives in danger in Hurricane Sandy. It's not the fault of the leaders in this session, they are far removed from the threat, as am I. But the threat is still too close to home for me.

As Hurricane Sandy barreled up the coast of the US, I was settling to facilitate a leadership workshop here in Tokyo. I hoped the forecasters were wrong and that Sandy would benignly head out to sea. But I was wrong and as Sandy took her westerly turn into New Jersey I began to worry. What happened to me was a a quick prioritization and a powerful reminder of what is important.

My first concern was that all my family and friends were safe. Though I knew none of us would be at home in Asbury Park and my parents were safe in Virginia Beach, I thought of all the friends I have in Asbury Park many of whom were still there as the storm hit. During every break I search the internet for news of how the storm is affecting the city.

So far, all my friends are fine and I believe the worst is past. However then I have my second level of concern. Is the house okay? When you purchase a house as close to the ocean as ours you always think of the worst case scenario and then hope it will never happen. The house was a dream come true. Now I await news about whether that dream was damaged or swept away.

Yet in all of this I can't help but reflect on the wake-up call that a storm or natural disaster brings. Immediately we realize our priorities. We seek safety for our loved ones and friends and then we secure our possessions. All of the small details that regularly clog our day and blind our vision are gone. In that minute of high wind, everything is blown aside and we see clearly.

So I pray for all those in the path of Sandy and I hope they are safe and their homes secure. Yet I also hope we hold on to this moment. Now is when we realize who and what is important to us. Perhaps we can learn to carry that with us rather than wait for the next disaster.

Personal Greatness From the Long View

It was just an intuition, a moment I realized I had to look. As I pushed up the shade on the window next to my seat on Air Canada I was greeted by a beautiful site. The snow-whitened mountains of Alaska! And I realized that from that high in the sky, there are no differences in people, countries and policies. But another realization dawned on me. All of the work that has been done on personal greatness is also not about comparing one person against another, it is so the whole world can unite and unleash everyone's personal greatness.

Flying to Tokyo I was reflecting that many people believe greatness is the comparison of one person against another and a tally of their goals, achievements, virtues, etc. Perhaps that is true for historical greatness. It is a "zero-sum" game. Only one person can be the greatest at anything. That is why there are record books and gold medals. However, personal greatness is not a zero-sum game. As a matter of fact, if everyone in the world achieved her or his personal greatness no one would be less for it, all of us would be greater.

We live in a world dominated by comparisons. One person is better at this, one country better at that. Yet, personal greatness is striving to reach the best of who each of us can be. We compete against no one else, we just strive to realize and unleash our personal best. As a matter of fact, the inspiration and motivation we have from someone else doesn't lessen us, but helps us to see that perhaps we can reach just a little higher or do a little more.

I'm a competitor, but as I research and speak about personal greatness I realize that when we work with others rather than against them we all achieve more. So perhaps we need the view from 37,000 feet. We are all human, basically striving for the same things. Working together will enrich all of us. So I know this week as I speak to these senior managers here in Tokyo I will work as hard as I can to help them unleash their own personal greatness. Because from the long view, we are all in this together and if they move toward their personal greatness, I will also.

Have You Experienced Achievement Post-Partum Blues?

Okay, I've never had a baby. I'm not physically made that way. And I don't have any children, so I've not experienced the waiting and birthing process. Yet, I wonder if I'm not experiencing some kind of post-partum blues. Of course I'm not comparing the experiences because I'm sure the emotions of having a child are massive. Yet have you ever worked very hard at something, brought it to completion and after the celebration of completing it, felt a let down? Yep, that's what I'm talking about.

Recently I finished a chapter for a book that is much more academic and psychological than I usually write. It was intense over the year doing the research and the months and months of writing up until the time I finished it. Then last week I pressed the send button on my computer and it was all over. Of course I felt the brief time of euphoria, but just as quickly I found that I couldn't write anything for a week (hence no blog). I'm finally getting back to a sense of normalcy.

As I study greatness, I believe I've seen similar things. When any of us prepare diligently for a significant period of time, putting in vast amounts of energy, we experience a let down when it is done. I'm speculating on what happens, but I believe the energy and emotions to complete something big (a degree, a book, a deck), put us in a different space. Pushing ourselves in new directions, or having the discipline to move toward completion of a project is almost like a high. When it's over we come down.

I'm learning two things from this experience. The first is that I have to give myself the time to experience the post-partum. There is a natural ebb and flow in life that makes the highs worth it. When we complete something, we come down off the high and it feels very different. Typically in the past I would immediately engage in something else and deny myself the time to realize what I had done. We need to give ourselves time to savor our achievements even when it gives us an emotional let down. Yet the second thing I've learned from this experience is that by letting myself experience and live through the post-partum I am now excited and ready to engage in something brand new with more energy than before.

So when you finish something you've diligently striven for and you finally put it to bed know two things. You will probably experience a period of feeling emotionally down. Live with it, because is really instructive about how much work you've put into something. And then be ready to experience renewed energy. It will come and you can re-engage fully.

Death Be Not Proud: Our Life Legacy - In Memory of Chris Peterson

Chris Peterson died yesterday. For those who did not know him, he was a brilliant scientist, a very humble man, and someone who changed the world around him. Those of us who knew him could not leave his presence and be unchanged. Learning of his death this morning saddened me. Yet I cannot claim any special relationship to Chris. I was one of his many students. But he had an amazing ability to make any of us feel incredibly special and unique when we were in his presence.

Over the years, in front of many audiences, I've challenged people to examine their lives and wonder what legacy they will leave. So many of us (myself included) think about the things we've done, the work we've created, or the achievements we've accomplished. In the end, that's not the legacy we leave, not really.

We change people by how we make them feel about themselves and Chris did this in a big way (it helped that he was a big man with a big heart). The memory I will always treasure about Chris happened at the First World Congress of Positive Psychology. It was early afternoon on the second day of the Congress and I was giving my brain a break from all that I was learning when I spotted Chris in the lobby sitting by himself. I walked over just to say "hi" and then move on so I wouldn't disturb him. He greeted me by name (I was stunned he remembered my name) and invited me to sit down. For the next two hours we talked about positive psychology, his work and what was next. Yet what I remember most was his interest in my work; the focus on greatness and bringing positive psychology into the corporate world. He made me feel like an equal (which I clearly am not) but listened respectfully to what I had to say and liked some of the ideas. It was an amazing moment for me.

At that moment it was not his degrees, nor all the articles and books he had written, nor all the classes he had taught that made him great. What Chris did so well was transform other people because, to quote his words "Other people matter" and he lived that motto with every fiber of his his being. That is the legacy I think of when I remember Chris. And it challenges me to wonder about my own.

So death be not proud, though you've taken someone renowned in his field, a leader of science. Sadly death you've taken someone who left a legacy of tenderness, humor, compassion, humanity, and yes I will say it greatness.

In the end, Chris, you are and always will be a great teacher. Thank you.

I've attached a link to Chris' last blog post in Psychology Today for those who would like to read it.  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-good-life/201210/awesome-e-pluribus-unum